The Sickness
by Shiggity Shwa
Summary: What if Rousseau told the survivors about the sickness that infected her crew was true? Who would notice? Who would contract the virus? Who would be immune? Rating changed because I went too far. FINISHED Y'ALL!
1. The Sickness

_What's shakin' bacon. I know I'm supposed to be working on 'Just In Case' but I've hit a rather large bump in the road.  
Ethan: More like a speed bump surrounded by potholes…  
So I just did a few one shots. I have plans for more because I'm seriously bored out of my mind in history, I drew all over my arm in pen today making a pretty tattoo! But anyways, I made like almost a series  
Ethan: If you call two a serious  
Of One-shots, that aren't that happy, because I've got to stop making Jack and Kate kiss in every single story. The next one I write might be up as early as tonight, then I might write one more (You know what about CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88) This is where I laugh evilly.  
Ethan: (joins in the evil laughing) >:)  
We've got to do that more often…  
And remember it's DARK! **D-A-R-K!** So I apologize to all those people in advance who are gonna be like "WTF you made sad fic, I don't like it, SCORN! FOR SHAME!"_

The Sickness  


The wind wafted gently through the air, lightly caressing everything it passed in a calming, but damp coolness. It came directly from the salty ocean, carrying with it the mist that evaporated from the burning dictator of a sun. On days like this though, it was more then welcomed. Everyone's spirit seemed to need cleansing, with Boone's death upsetting everyone, and then Claire's baby being born in the same day, it was very unnerving.

They were all changing. Not just physically, a little weight loss, a little muscle built nor intellectually. Sure they had learned many things while being marooned, like where the fish gathered in the morning, to which passion fruit where ripe and ready to eat. They had also changed socially, being stranded with less then fifty other people made you close friends, but even closer enemies. Each day everyone was becoming even more ruthless, ready to scorn their closest friends until the sun went down.

In Kate's right state of mind, she knew that it was only a matter of time, whether it be days, weeks, months or even years, before each and every person had turned on each other. In her opinion they were already halfway there; the only thing stopping from an eruption was the social aspect of the castaways, it seemed to assuage the urge to an all out free-for-all. But whatever the mind doesn't use, it doesn't remember. Soon enough they would all be savages, each having a downfall from socialite to troglodyte in their own way.

Shannon sat on the beach, day and night, never rising from her spot, never lifting a finger. Sometimes she'd be crying, other times she'd simply be staring out to the ocean, a look of longing on her face. Most of the castaways had given up trying to inveigle to come back to the shelters.

Claire had showed off her new baby to Shannon, but received nothing more then a mere smile. Locke had brought her Boone's bag and offered her his apologizes, but she didn't even utter a thank you. Kate had thought to go talk to her once, had actually worked up the strength to try and keep up her end of the conversation, but as she approached, she saw that familiar glint in Shannon's eyes; the one her eyes usually gripped, the one that pleaded to be left alone.

Only Sayid had never chosen to leave her side. He would once in a blue moon, to take care of a few things, or to retrieve Shannon some food when it was never brought to them. Kate grinned weakly as she watched Shannon and Sayid, their tattered clothes and mussed hair blowing in the fluffy wind. She marveled at the loyalty he held for her, and then shook her head. This had to be much more then loyalty, this was a description of pure love.

The wind gusted pushing the blue tarp in front of Kate's face, obstructing her view of the couple. It had picked up quite a bit in the last few minutes, indicating another immanent storm approaching with the overcast of grumbling gray clouds. It was hard enough to make the coconuts knock together in the nearby trees, keep them in a rhythmic motion, but it still felt light as a feather to the touch of her skin, lingering long enough just to give her tickling goose bumps.

Something stirred in the back of the tent and once again Kate's eyes were drawn away from Sayid and Shannon, it was for the best anyways, her mom always told her to mind her own business. Turning her head to peer over her shoulder, she saw Jack begin to wake from his slumber. The few days that had passed after Boone's untimely demise, Jack didn't get much rest, he still placed blame on Locke for not telling him the truth to begin with.

So Kate had given Jack a few days to do the right thing, to let it blow over with Locke, but he chose to hold a never ending vendetta against him. Staying up most of the night, not giving his body the time it needed to replenish his blood supply. She was surprised to see Jack being one of the first to loose hold on amity, she thought the doctor would be last to go. In a pitiful attempt to save him she decided to take matters into her own hands, drugging his juice so that he could get a few moments rest, maybe when he woke up from dreams of his home and family, he'd be more like himself.

She felt a surge of guilt jolt through her as he groaned painfully, his eyes struggling to keep open, all bloodshot and beaten. She briefly remembered the last few sentences he said to her before he passed out, something along the lines of, _What did you do?_ Followed by a weak, _O…Okay,_ before his body gave out and collapsed into a pit of synthetic slumber.

He started shifting his weight and pushed to get to a steady sitting position, "Hey," Kate greeted as she moved over, grasping his arm gently she helped him up. Sitting next to him in the sticky silence quickly grew more uncomfortable as the guilt boiled inside of her, "How are you feeling?" she asked, unable to stand the unkind stillness any longer.

"I feel like I need an aspirin," he grunted truthfully has his hand came to his incarnadine eyes, protecting them from the weak sliver of the retreating sun that had the strength to press between the tarp flaps.

"The last thing you need is an aspirin," Kate remarked as she glanced over Jack's weakened condition, his body was pallid and shaking with weak convulsions, "One of those could put you out of business for some time."

"Oh and a sleeping pill wouldn't?" he questioned harshly. Kate turned her gaze away from him, awaiting another lecture, "What if you'd put in the wrong amount?"

"I've done the before, Jack," she shot back, then immediately bit her tongue, that didn't seem like one of the best things to say at this very moment. As the seconds passed she could literally feel the trust they'd built amongst each other, crumbling like a squashed cookie.

"I didn't mean it like that," Kate replied after a minute, "But I'm not incompetent Jack, I can do things for myself."

"Like drug people?" Jack countered with a stern tone.

Kate sighed, she wasn't going to get through Jack, at least not at this very moment she pushed herself off the sandy ground and gave Jack a somewhat angry look.

As she bent over to move out of the tent, one of Jack's hands shot out and grabbed her wrist callously, she turned back to look at him, a movement of angry seemed to sweep through him, "Where is it?" he growled.

"Where's what?" she asked unsure of what he was referring too, she looked directly into his eyes, then down at the hand clamped on her wrist.

"Where is it?" he demanded strictly, "I'm not playing games Kate," he warned.

She looked into his eyes and saw something had changed in him; a new emotion had almost usurped him. She could see his skin glisten with sweat, and the veins in his neck pump with rage, "Jack," she told him calmly, hiding the terrorizing fear expertly, "I don't know what you're asking for."

"Kate, I swear to God," he told her as his ashen face reddened with rage, so much so that it was almost purple in color.

"I don't know," she told him, her fear starting to break through its containments. He stared her down for several minutes until her eyes began to water and sparkle in the weak light, "I don't know," she repeated.

Looking as if he'd just been hit with a sack of bricks, Jack quickly released her wrist. He analyzed his hand, then glanced up at Kate's red wrist that she cradled gently in her hand, "I'm sorry Kate," he told her, his voice sounding distant at times, making his mind seem on vacation.

"It's okay," she assured, "I know it's not your fault, you haven't really been yourself lately," she excused.

"Yeah," he nodded in agreement, "Still that was no reason to go off on you," he stated, "You were just trying to help. I didn't hurt your wrist did I?"

"No, no it's fine," she told him and to prove her point flopped her wrist around every which way.

"Alright," he said with a weak smile, "I'm going to go get a drink of water," he told her as he rose from his spot and headed to the opening of the tent.

"Jack?" Kate called to him before he left. He stopped at the doorway waiting for her to continue, "What were you looking for anyways?"

"The key from around my neck," he told her calmly, wearing a grin to relax her, but all it did was frighten her more, "I don't know where it is."

Kate leaned over and picked something off the ground and handed it back to Jack, "It fell off while you were sleeping, you toss and turn a lot," she informed.

He chuckled as he reached for the necklace, "I'm not an easy sleeper," he told her as he tied the ratty, grimy string around his neck once again, "After I get a drink, maybe I'll get some natural sleep, I'll be fine in the morning again," he disclosed with a smile.

Kate smiled back forcibly and watched as he left the tent, thunder rolled in the air and the ocean waves seem to be hurling themselves in pillars at the discombobulated shore. Kate looked out and saw the black skies bullying the gray waters around, Sayid was frantically trying to barter with Shannon to come inside their tent before the rain started while she sat simply not listening to a word he said. Kate knew Shannon wouldn't move, and then Sayid would try to carry her off, but Shannon was one of those spoiled rich kids who could almost change their density into a pound of wet cement when it came to being pressured to go somewhere they didn't wan to.

Barking could be heard in the distance as Kate stuck her head even further out of the tent. Walt stood with Michael beside him, both trying to calm Vincent as he growled at them ferociously, the golden hairs on his back standing on end as his pearl white teeth glinted. Michael pushed Walt behind him as Vincent seemed to bark louder and louder, as drool dripped into the sand below him.

Kate moved further back into her tent, grasping her knees close to her chest she waited as the rain struck the ground like pennies being dropped from the Empire State Building, they hit the sand and left an indent. With one last look Kate noticed Sayid trying to carry Shannon back to a shelter as lighting struck only a few yards down the beach.

Danielle was right there was a sickness and it was coming if not already here. Some of the survivors were already infected should could tell it, Jack was, Vincent was, Shannon was. They had all clearly had their downfall from grace, she wondered silently who would be next, if Claire's baby boy would turn feral, or would it be Sawyer, making him even worse.

It didn't really matter, because faster then a blink of an eye, or slower then the pace of a snail, they were all going to catch it. Charlie was going to hurt Claire, Claire would forget about her baby, Sayid was eventually going to stop caring about Shannon, Hurley would stop making jokes, Sawyer would stop with the wise cracks, and Locke would loose what was left of his sanity, which she wasn't looking forward to, especially since he had all those hunting knives stole away somewhere. But on that note, it probably wasn't a good idea to give Jack the key to the case back.

Kate laid her head gently on an airplane pillow and stared at her wrist which was beginning to swell in size. She had lied when she said it felt good, but there was no need to upset Jack further.

Incensed yelling interrupted her trail of thought and she could instantly recognize it as Jack and Sawyer, probably butting heads about something meaningless and trivial, but now that they were infected (Jack at least), everything seemed worth fighting for. In a few minutes they would start to fight, and if someone didn't stop them it would probably be the death of one of them. The first notch out of forty-four. They would drop slowly, only those immune to the sickness would be spared. And Kate hoped to God silently, that she wouldn't be one of them.

* * *

_**I hope you enjoyed my anger and darkness. See y'all again real soon  
Ethan: Yeah here!**_  



	2. The Downward Spiral

_Okay I know that I said it was a one shot, but that damn CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 and I conferenced about ideas (And how I have to have someone bitch slapping someone or else I would go ass crazy) and we agreed that I should make this a four part series. Now I know some of you were mentioning that this isn't very dark. Well I've got to warn you, I'm moving the rating up to an M because it's MMMM MMMM Good. No seriously there's some pretty disturbing stuff in this chapter and that's just the pepperoni on the pizza. Because in the next chapter the really crazy shizzat starts to happen and I may remind you that I fired the good angel on my shoulder, so I'm pulling no cuts. Everything goes…  
BTW these were this chapters words…  
Willfully  
Masquerade  
Inevitable  
Fate   
Lovingly  
Fade  
Fragments  
Chillingly  
Passion  
Regret  
Pang  
Lust  
Utmost  
Agony  
Torment_

The Downward Spiral 

"The waves drift in and the waves drift out, as the watch's arms whirl about. The darkness is coming, the sun is gone, and it's been hours since it's shone. It's coming through the jungle, coming for the slaughter, leaving tracks in the loam. As its teeth sink in, we realize, we're not going home," she mumbled mindlessly as her eyes closed indolently.

Charlie wrote that song a few weeks ago, it seemed to be burned into her mind, the lyrics repeating like a broken record. She didn't know why, maybe because they held so much meaning for everything that was occurring in the camp.

A few nights ago when Jack had gotten into a quarrel with Sawyer it had gotten a bit out of hand. Jack had actually hit Sawyer first, his balled fist targeting Sawyer's left eye. She didn't want to stop them, she didn't want to become involved, but no one else had the sheer gall to stop them.

She rushed out of her tent after she heard fists flying to see not only Sawyer lying on the ground, but Charlie also, seems he tried to hold Jack back and failed miserably. Sayid was now attempting to stop his flailing fists as Locke talked him down.

She ran to Sawyer's helpless body, he looked like an abandoned puppy in a grimy alleyway. Bending down beside him, she cradled his head as he tried to push himself up, but the shiner Jack gave was too severe and his eyes dizzied. In the brief seconds he was conscious, Kate saw his eyes, his baby blue eyes, all tarnished with fright.

Jack brought free of Sayid, pushing the trained soldier into the sand with a forceful blow, then charged towards where Kate sat, trying to rouse Sawyer. She would have bet money on the fact that he'd strike her, but she'd have been wrong. There was enough Jack left inside to stop a few seconds before his hand contacted her face, showing disappointment and expectancy.

Her hands slid behind Sawyer's head, bringing it up to rest on her lap, as she glared at Jack, who stared horrifyingly at his hand for the moments before Sayid and Locke restrained him. His eyes, his face, they were all dazed, and only after everyone had fallen asleep had he regained himself. Fleeing into the jungle like he had a few days after their arrival on the island, looking for answers, running from embarrassment.

This memory came to her as quickly as a feared injection is over, her eyes drifting shut, her mind turning off. This was the way it always was, sleep by exhaustion, sleeping as opposed to staying awake any longer and living a nightmare. She was beginning to become independent on it, like Charlie had heroin.

As soon as she thought of him, her words strung together, the pictures in her brain blurry and faded, her thoughts object broke through the tarp curtains of her shelter, a given anxiousness wafting through the air.

"Kate!" he spoke loud, with urgency, no remorse for waking her of her slumber. His fingers entwined with each other, the newly replaced duct tape on his fingers lightly scratched as he did so.

Her body moved involuntarily, pushing her into a lazy sitting position, the cogs in her mind starting up again, "What is it, Charlie?" she questioned wiping at the dried tears that stained her face like blood.

"He's back," Charlie declared, his voice panicky, his syllables shaking. He moved a hand up and scratched the back of his head, then adjusted the tape on his index finger so the 'B' was facing up. All his actions jittery.

Kate shot her eyes up to his, interrogating his honesty with one swift sweep of his face. Charlie nodded vigorously as his fingers reached and floated just above the deep purple bruise on his cheek, "He's at the caves."

A cloud of air shot from her mouth into the cool night of the beach as she sighed. She ran a delicate hand through the massive bunch of tangled knots she called her hair, and finally shoot her head in agreement. Somebody had to talk to Jack, and she was obviously the only one who could get through to him.

He gave her a reassuring smile as she rose from the sand, giving her blue jeans a quick dusting before she threw on a frail, thin, white long-sleeved top to give her minimal protection against the nights harsh winds and cold temperatures. She didn't even acknowledge Charlie's attempt to lighten the mood as she brushed past him at the entrance.

Striding down the beach towards the trail to the caves, she stopped momentarily at a fire to pick up a torch to illuminate the dark, misty jungle. As she neared the path, she felt a cool hand clamp down on her shoulder.

Spinning around, her eyes stopped on that baby blue, Sawyer's baby blue. They still had the fear, but this time she knew it was for her. "You're not really goin' are ya?" he questioned.

"I have to," she replied shifting uncomfortably, remembering a time when Jack had said the same thing about her approaching Sawyer.

"Freckles, he's lost it," he enlightened, "He's gone crazy."

"He hasn't Sawyer, he's just confused," she made a pitiful effort at an excuse.

"Freckles, he did this, when I asked him how he was doing," Sawyer explained as he pointed to the shimmering plum color of his eyelid.

"He won't hurt me," she informed, though it sounded more like a promise. She turned to leave but Sawyer caught her by the forearm, "He almost hit you Kate," he reminded angrily, "And don't think I haven't seen this," he continued as he held her arm up, showing her the wrist she already knew was sprained.

"Sawyer," she wrenched her arm away from him, peeved at the conversation, "If I don't talk to him, no one will. I'm the only one who has a chance."

"Fine," Sawyer replied, throwing his arms up in the air for a dramatic effect, "But when he does this to you again," Sawyer growled, gesturing to her wrist, "Don't cry for him again."

* * *

The night was late when Kate finally made it to the caves, thunderous clouds had gathered over the full moon as objects seemed to take on a bit more eeriness then usual. Everyone seemed to be sleeping, Locke in one cave, Hurley in the next all but one cave that echoed with movement and low muttering, which was in Jack's cave. 

Kate placed her torch in one of the many fires surrounding the cave and walked up to the vast opening of the cave and peered in before setting a foot inside. Jack stood inside, pacing back and forth as she'd seen him do so many times, it was a stress reliever to him, like his counting to five.

He seemed to sense her presence because the moment she was about to turn away, he looked up, seeing her form in the glow of the fire. "Hey," he greeted her with a warm smile.

"I was just leaving," she rambled speedily, not wanting him to be upset with her, "I didn't mean to bother you," she added as she turned ready to run to the beach if need be.

"Kate, stay, please. There's a few things I've got to clear up with you," he stated softly, his voice kind and welcomes, like the plucked strings of a harp, or the early birds sweet song. Kate could sense the change in him.

"What happened to you Jack?" she asked as she entered the cave and took a seat beside him on his makeshift bed, "You had me scared."

"I'm sorry," Jack apologized, his face fallen, full of regret, "I didn't mean to hurt anyone, I couldn't even see what I was doing," he explained as he buried his head in his hands, "I don't know what's happening to me."

Kate moved Jack's body to rest against her as he cried tears of anguish that burned like acid as they dripped down his cheeks, "It's okay Jack," she whispered as she lovingly caressed the back of his head, "Wounds can heal, anything you did can be reversed with time."

"I punched Sawyer, I punched Charlie," he reminded as he pulled away from her his spirit in complete agony.

"Bruises will heal Jack, they'll forgive you," she informed, "We all know you're a good person with a golden heart."

"I don't even remember it happening though Kate, only fragments of it, and it scares me," he divulged, "I remember waking up in your tent and then nothing until I let go of your wrist. The same with Sawyer and Charlie, I don't remember anything until I was about to," Jack let his sentence linger as he looked over to Kate; "I don't even want to think about what I was going to do."

"But you didn't do anything to me," she stated trying to ease his pain.

"But I was going to Kate, and if I did, I don't think I'd be able to live with myself," he unveiled, disgusted with himself.

"Jack," she comforted as she slid a hand to his cheek. His once beautiful hazel eyes were now dulled and sullied with torment.

"I love you Kate," he whispered, his body shaking, his eyes glassy with emotion, "I think I always have."

She sniffed back her sobs as she stared at him, "I love you too Jack," she replied her thumb tracing the lines carved in them by millions of sleepless nights, "But," she stopped as she bit her lip, she couldn't cry. Not in front of him, or because of this.

"But what?" he asked tenderly as his grasped her hand.

"How do I know that this isn't going to happen again?" she questioned as she hide her face, unable to see the brokenhearted look she placed on his face.

"Kate," he told her, taking her other hand in his, and tilting her chin up, "I made sure I was okay, I stayed out the jungle for three days to make sure it was out of my system. I can promise you I'm better," he tried to convince.

She stared at him a few seconds, her eyes flashing quickly, doing the same scan she did on Charlie moments ago to verify he was telling the truth. She was skeptical; something seemed to be missing from him. "Kate," he said in a pleading voice, Kate shook her head, "I believe you Jack," she replied. If she didn't believe him, he might give up all hope.

He grinned as he leaned into kiss her, his lips brushing against hers, like some unwritten ecstasy, like fate had finally done its job after a long, drudgery month. Kate willfully deepened the kiss, as her body pressed against his in a fit of passion.

Jack was progressing too quickly for Kate, almost like he viewed sex as a task rather then an expression of love. His mouth was suffocating hers, making her beg for air. His hands weren't the gentle healing tools she thought they were, they were weapons of destruction. As they freely roamed over her body, each area they touched, they left a deformed mark, bruising her, scratching her, pangs of ache shot through her entire body.

His hands gripped at her shirt's material, forcing it over her head, and then abandoning it on the ground as his mouth traveled from her neck to her stomach, alternating in leaving bruises and teeth marks.

"Jack," she groaned out painfully, "You're being a little rough aren't you?" she asked. When he ignored her and began to unzip her blue jeans she turned his head towards her face, "Jack!" His eyes were chilling, as if there was not one humane bone left in his body. The love that was so evident between them had suddenly become pure lust on his behalf.

Involuntarily, Kate wrapped her legs around Jack's waist as he tore at his shirt, ripping it instead of removing it traditionally. His hands slipped to the clasp on her bra, and as his mouth kissed her neck harshly, it slid off, falling to the floor.

Lifting her up, Jack pinned her against the side of the cave, the jagged rocks cutting deep gashes into her back as he fumbled with her jeans, "Jack," Kate gasped, "Maybe we should stop for a bit."

"No," Jack shook his head, then trailed his burning kisses down Kate's chest, between her breasts and over her bellybutton, "I have to make you mine," he announced.

"What?" Kate asked dazedly as their remaining clothes were shed. She never got an answer, because as she began to move with Jack's body against the ridged wall of the cave, she endured the utmost pain.

She was waiting for it to end, it was no longer fun, nor love, nor not even lust, it was just pain. Her limbs shook, battered and scraped, her back bled crimson droplets in the late night's moon, and her lips bruised, swelling in size. She knew the masquerade was over, the little love that had been between them to begin with was no extinguished.

Soon Jack stopped, when the urge and rapaciousness had left his body, and they both seemed to collapse, neither calling for each other's help. Kate sat in the corner for a moment, her mind still in shock as her body convulsed from the harsh activity and coolness of the night.

Purple bruises and ruby colored bit marks lined her stomach, chest and limbs. Everything hurt to move, but Kate winced her way through redressing herself. She could feel the blood permeating her back, the bite marks swelling and her lip trembling. As she looked up to face Jack, he was no where in sight. All that was left of him were scrapes in the sand and his brutal stains left on Kate's body.

She knew this would happen, it was inevitable, Jack was strong, he dueled the sickness, but in the end, a pestilence that has run the island with its unsavory iron grip for the past sixteen years was bound to win. It had, or was turning him savage, feral like an animal without any regrets, nor any emotion.

As she stood shakily glaring at the scrapes in the caves ground from Jack's dash, her shirt tainted blood red, and her jeans sticking to all the wrong spots she silently uttered, "Leaving tracks in the loam."

She almost screamed in pain as she bent down to pick up a blanket and wrapped it around her back as she walked to the beach. Her hands absentmindedly skimmed over a bite mark on her stomach and she repeated, "As its teeth sink in, we realize, we're not going home."

_

* * *

I'm going to work on the next chapter tomorrow, but I also have exams all this week, so the latest it will be up is Sunday, and that's still pushing it. _


	3. The Fallen Angels

_Ha HA! I got it down before Sunday, because I rock! And I'm also finished my exams, so when I'm not studying on how to not run over people, I'll probably be writing. This story will have 2 or 3 more long chapters, this being the most gentle of them, and this one is rated a solid M for language (I actually say the F-shot you guys! SQUEEEE!), and violence among other stuff. And I'm sorry to say that this is a bit S/K too! I know I know (breaks down and cries) I didn't want to do it, it just sort of happened! But I can guarantee you that NOTHING SERIOUS will happen between them, just dirty little whispers here and there. But seriously watch out because this chapter will knock you straight on your ass!  
Ethan: Jo' ass!  
I'd also like to thank CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 for helping me with a few things (You know what and I don't wanna mention them because if I do it'll ruin the chapter)  
Ethan: Wink Wink  
and CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88's words this round were  
Acidic  
Blazing  
Crazed  
Remorse  
Over-Protective  
Hero  
Flinch  
Caress  
Longing  
Coarse (I used it twice!)  
Aglow  
Loathing  
Repulsion  
Penance   
Adoration  
She uses her brains to pick some pretty Fawesome words and I use my creativity to mash 'em into the mix. _

The Fallen Angels

  
"Will you persist,  
even after I kiss you,  
goodbye for the last time,  
will you keep on trying,  
to prove it?   
I'm dying,  
To lose it,  
I'm losing my confidence"  
'Coin-Operated Boy' by The Dresden Dolls  


* * *

The damp dirt pinched between her bare toes as she walked towards the beach. Her body shook from many things, what had just happened with Jack, mixed with the cold and the exhaustion she was now facing was not a good concoction. 

She breathed heavily and raggedly as she wrapped the blanket tighter around her back, the blood seeping through was flooding her top and even the blanket. When the cool hurricane winds howled, it chilled her to the bone.

The wounds needed tending too, even she could tell that, but no one was awake on the beach any longer, and she didn't want to explain were the marks had come from. In a normal situation, she would've turned to Jack; he would've fixed her wounds and gone off to fight whatever demon had harmed her. But this wasn't a normal situation, and he wasn't her Jack.

Silently walking as if on air, she gradually made her way to her tent, but before entering it, she saw a fire still burning outside someone's tent, signaling that whoever owned that shelter was still awake.

"Sawyer," she huffed deeply, he was strictly the last person she'd want to see in her condition, but she was hardly in a situation where she could complain.

As she walked the few feet to his tent her mind contemplated her decision over a hundred times. She paused momentarily at the opening, gazing inside. Sawyer lay asleep with the book he was reading sprawled across his chest, his arm lay over his head and in the corner a battery powered lantern sat illuminating the small tent.

She spread the tarp and walked inside, squeezing herself into one of the dark corners and stared at his sleeping form for a moment, "Sawyer," she whispered gently, her voice hoarse. She cleared it and waited for him to wake, but he didn't.

"Sawyer," she replied a little harsher, shaking his shoulder. He almost jumped from his spot, "Jesus Freckles," he mumbled angrily, "What the hell are you doing?"

"I need your help," she whispered, her face hidden in the shadows of his tent, "But you can't tell anyone," she added.

"Why, what'd ya do now Freckles? Kill Jack and need me to help get rid of the evidence?" He chuckled as he leaned his back against one of the airplane's chairs.

"Sawyer," her voice was shaky. She swallowed and tried to keep an indifferent appearance, "I'm serious."

He sighed with annoyance, "I warned you not to go out there," he reminded, "But you had to be the big heroine, and now that everything's fallen to crap you want me to…"

"Yes or no, Sawyer?" she grumbled as she slid down into a sitting position, her body still covered by the shadows. All except her one foot that skated into the light, Sawyer glanced at it, then at her, and she retracted her foot quickly.

"What do you need?" he questioned as he got up, ready to dig through his piles for whatever she required.

"Do you promise not to tell anyone!" she implored sternly.

"Yeah I get it Freckles, it's a secret," he enlightened as he stuck out his hand to help her up, "So what do you need."

She hesitated at grabbing it, "I have to warn you," she whispered, "I don't look to good right now."

Sawyer sighed once again, "I don't give a damn Freckles, now are you gonna to tell me what you need or am I gonna to have to become a mind reader?"

"I need any medical supplies you have," she told him, "Peroxide, bandages, gauze, aspirin, anything."

"I thought Jacko had all that stuff," he stated as he crouched before her.

"He does, but he left, and I don't want to find him," Kate answered as she took his hand.

Sawyer pulled her up and into the light. She winced and Sawyer froze when he saw her state, "Jesus, what the hell happened?" he questioned as he eyed the multiple scratches down her arms, and her swollen lips.

"I fell down a hill," she replied stoically as he guided her to where he kept his medical supplies, "My back is the worst, I think it's still bleeding."

He took off the blanket to find her shirt soaked thoroughly with blood, "Must've been some hill," he murmured as she lifted the back of her top up to her shoulders, wincing in pain, "This is going to hurt," he told her as he took one of his shirts and ripped it into rags, soaking one with peroxide.

"I'm used to it," Kate muttered as she leaned forward lightly resting her chest against her battered legs. She winced when the chemical came into contact with her frayed skin, but marveled at how placid Sawyer could be when he wasn't slinging acidic remarks left and right.

His fingers fumbled through the rolls of bandages he'd hoarded, and he began to wrap up the areas that still slightly bled on her back. That's when he noticed an abstruse mark on her side, though it looked almost familiar. He turned to a different angle, which was when he saw the fully extent of the mark, and his fists closed hard.

"Freckles," he sighed angrily as he finished the last patch on her back.

"I know," she whispered, "I need to be more careful."

"No, hill did this," he divulged as he brought her shirt back down. She turned around and met his blazing eyes, "Yeah it did, I…"

"You can't get bite marks from a Goddamn hill Kate," he growled, his teeth grinding together. Kate bowed her head, not daring to say anything, "Did you sleep with him?" He questioned, his voice low, "Did you sleep with him!" he demanded.

"He said he loved me Sawyer," she stated, "And I believed him, I believe he actually did" Sawyer stared at her infuriated as he paced back and forth before her, "But it wasn't him. It wasn't Jack," she whispered, "Jack wouldn't have done what he did to me," tears were now forming in her eyes.

"Where's he now?" Sawyer asked as he stopped moving and kept his eyes on Kate who was staring into nothingness.

"He ran out into the jungle when he was done with me," she answered mindlessly, Sawyer was beginning to worry about her state of mind, but she seemed to snap out of her mood abruptly. She reached for the clothe he was using and lifted up the front of her shirt a few inches, bearing some recent injuries and began to clean them.

"Kate," Sawyer bent down before her. The fact that he was using her name bringing certain seriousness to the situation, "Did he rape you?"

She looked up at him with a swift eye movement, but then focused once again on cleaning her wounds, "There was barely any sex, it was just," she sighed, "It was just pain."

"Was it voluntary?" he asked again, wanting to know the extent of Jack's wrong doings.

"Yeah," she answered as she pulled her top back down.

"Jesus Kate, what were you thinking?" he asked in an outburst towards her. She flinched, closing her eyes tightly and brought her arms up, protecting her from his phantom attack.

"Freckles," he sighed as he sat down before her, "I'm not like him," he told her as he coaxed her arms away from their defensive position.

"But you will be," she informed as she sniffled, wiping at the unshed tears that were stinging her eyes.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he queried, with a small hint of worry in his voice. Kate again used silence to reply.

Sawyer leaned backwards as he rummaged through the mound of accumulated items, until he found what he was looking for. He turned around and threw a large blue shirt over to Kate, "You might wanna change outta that," he suggested, pointing to her top. She sent him a glare, "I'm just thinking about what people are gonna say, when they see your condition in the morning," he added.

"I should go," she stated as she picked up the bloodied blanket and the shirt Sawyer had tossed her.

"Is he gonna come back?" Sawyer asked her before she got to the opening of the tent.

"I don't know," she answered quietly, "But if he does, it won't be tonight," she assured as she lifted the loose tarp but stopped, "Hey Sawyer?" she questioned.

"What is it now Freckles?" he sighed as he threw his hands up in the air, "You're just never satisfied are ya?"

"Thanks for helping me," she continued, smiling weakly but gratefully, choosing to ignore his angry eruption.

"Well you were the one who dealt with Jacko in the first place," Sawyer reminded as he lay back down on his makeshift bed, referring to a few nights ago when she had broken up the fight between Jack and himself. It was his way of saying thank you.

Kate pushed a matted clump of her hair behind her ear, "Don't worry about it," she replied as she left to return to her own tent.

"That ain't what I'm worried about," Sawyer mumbled before he fell asleep.

* * *

Sawyer groaned as he stretched out his arms, and cracked his neck. The sun had been up for a few hours, meaning he'd slept in longer then he planned, and it was all Freckles' fault. He sat up, stretching his arms again, this time upwards.

He stopped his movements abruptly when he heard people holding a conversation only a few feet from his tent. He grinned cheekily; he loved it when he didn't even have to leave his tent for the daily rumors. He stealthy moved forward the few inches, until his azure eyes scanned the beach, and found Charlie, Claire, and Sayid talking.

"Locke said that Jack was gone in the morning," Charlie announced to Sayid, "He says he slept soundly through the night and doesn't know if Kate made it up there or not."

"Well she's here," Claire stated, balancing her newborn son and gesturing towards Kate's shelter, "Just go wake her up."

"Well that would be unfair," Charlie immediately replied, "She didn't wake us up when she got back from the caves."

"Speak for yourself, reject," Sawyer grumbled as he exited the tent, pretending like he'd heard none of the conversation, "Well, well, well, looks like the PTA was having a meetin' and I wasn't invited."

"Sawyer have you seen Jack at all since last night?" Sayid questioned.

"Well, he's not hidin' in the back of my tent if that's whatcha mean," Sawyer replied with a snide smile as he stuck a cigarette into his mouth and began to light it, "'Sides, I thought Jacko flew over the cuckoo's nest," he informed as he took a drag of the cigarette.

"He did, but he came back," Sayid explained as he glared at Sawyer knowing the man wasn't telling the whole truth. He broke he contact and looked over to Shannon who was still in the same spot, the tide completely covering her feet, "Well I suppose we won't know what happens until Kate wakes up," he stated as he gave a sturdy nod and walked away.

Charlie and Claire turned away from Sawyer, beginning to walk back to where they had set up twin shelters beside each other. He sighed as he watched Sayid trying to get Shannon to move up only a few feet so he wouldn't have to be worried about her drowning, but she showed no intention to.

He dropped his cigarette into the sand and stopped it out with his shoe before traveling to Kate's tent. He stopped before entering, looking around inconspicuously, making sure no one noticed him, and to his luck, everyone seemed to be busy.

His shoes slid across the grainy sand noiselessly as he entered. Gazing upon her sleeping form, she was laid curled on her side in the blue shirt he'd lent her for the night, her lips bruised and swollen along with all her other wounds.

"Freckles," he told her as he reached out, gripping his warm hand around her cool ankle and gently shook her leg to rouse her, "Rise and shine Freckles," he whispered loudly.

She jerked her leg away from him and sat up speedily, he could see her chest rising and falling with a quick pace and it became obvious to him that he'd scared her. A small smirk spread across his face, "Never do that again," she told him as she began to place her hair up in a ponytail.

Sawyer chuckled, "I just thought that you might wanna know that the island police have begun their investigation of good old Jacko, and want as much information on him as possible."

Kate sighed as she stood up. She rummaged through her pile of clothes until she came to a loose fitting pair of cargo pants. She looked at them, and then up to Sawyer who stared back at her, "Jesus Freckles, I saw more then that yesterday," he huffed angrily as he turned around to face the walls of the shelter.

He heard Kate sigh, not knowing if it was from what he said, or if the pants were irritating her wounds as she slid them on, "What are you gonna tell them?" he asked, his eyes scanning the shades of blue on the tarp, trying to keep himself from looking behind him.

"I'm going to tell them, that Jack was already gone when I got there," she grunted as she pulled her shirt over her head and replaced it with more passable t-shirt, "You can turn around now," she informed.

"How the hell are you gonna pass that off?" Sawyer asked as she picked her shed clothes off the ground, "You look like someone dragged you around town tied to the bumper of their pickup truck," he stated honestly.

"I'll just tell them I fell down the hill," she stated quickly as she handed him back the blue shirt he'd lent her.

"And the bite marks?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow.

Kate motioned to tuck a phantom piece of hair behind her ear, but her hand fell when she remembered that she had tied it up, "They're not going to see the marks, if I wear clothes that cover my stomach and pants that cover my legs, I'll be fine."

"Darlin' they're gonna know that…" Sawyer was cut off by the sudden rush of people passing Kate's tent, and the sounds of ferocious barking in the distance, "What the hell is goin' on out there?" Sawyer asked as he brushed through the opening followed by Kate.

"Vincent," Walt begged as he yanked on the leash as the growling golden lab bared its sharp teeth that gleamed in the sunlight, slobber dripping over his gums. His back was straight along with his tail as he barked at the boy.

"Walt, get away from him man, he's not himself today," Michael told his son, "Just let him go man, he'll come back."

"No, something's wrong with him dad," Walt told as he kept yanking the leash pulling the dog away. Vincent hooked his paws into the mushy, watery sand in the surf and began to snarl lowly. With one final yank of the leash, his collar broke and the rabid dog took off towards the groups of people huddled together on the beach.

"Claire," Charlie yelled, "Get inside," he told her as he pushed her and Aaron inside the shelter, placing a shred of metal from the plane against the opening.

Vincent tore across the beach; he was definitely running for something, but no one could see what. "He's coming this way, Freckles," Sawyer announced, "Get back inside."

"I can take care of myself Sawyer," she stated defiantly as she moved to stand next to him.

"Darlin' I ain't getting into your biting fetish right now, I'm tellin' you to get back in the tent," he explained to her. She rolled her eyes, but as they heard the screaming of the other survivors running away from Vincent, she stood idle for a moment, watching the yellow dog tear up the beach.

As he barreled closer to them, to being only a few feet away, Sawyer shot out his hand, gripping Kate's arm strongly and forced her behind him, "If you're gonna stay out, at least be a lil' less conspicuous about it."

Kate shot him a stubborn glace, but stayed put between Sawyer and her shelter. They watched as Vincent ran by aiming for something down the beach. Walt was now on his tail, followed by Michael.

"What the hell does he want down there?" Sawyer questioned as he leaned his head around Kate's tent to peer down the beach.

"Oh my God!" Kate yelled as she pushed herself up off the ground and began to follow Michael, "He wants Shannon!"

"Freckles!" he yelled as he got up and followed her down the beach.

She and Sawyer stopped along the jungle line few yards away. Kate's heart stopped when she saw the dog jumping through the air towards Shannon, but Sayid ran in at the last possible second with a large branch from a tree and hit the dog across the face.

Vincent yipped, but then began to snarl more fiercely, he moved to jump for her again, but Sayid hit him again. This time across the midsection. He fell to the ground limply and lied lifelessly in the sand.

Sayid threw the branch away and bent down beside Shannon, he kissed her blonde hair and wrapped his arms around her, relieved that she was okay. She hadn't moved from her spot, not once, not even to look over at the feral animal that was about to mull her to death.

He slid an arm around her back, and one under her knees and began to carry her away. When Walt stopped him, "What'd you do to my dog!" he yelled incensed, tears in his eyes, "He was just having a bad day!"

"Walt," Michael told his boy as he fell to his knees beside his dog, "He was sick, he must've gotten rabies from one of the other animals here," he explained as he placed a hand on Walt's shoulder.

Sayid turned around, Shannon leaning against his chest and gave a remorseful glance to Walt, whose head lay against his dog's torso. And Kate moved back towards Sawyer, bumping into him, "It's over," he told her gently as they watched the boy weep.

"No," she whispered as shook her head, "he needs to get out of there," she announced and ran over to call Walt away but as she did Vincent woke.

In one swift movement his head jerked around and his jaw clamped around Walt's neck. Walt began to scream out in sheer pain, his calls gurgled by the blood rising in his throat and spilling out into the cream colored sand.

Michael's eyes grew wide as he began to try and pry the dog's jaw away from his son, hitting, punching, kicking, but it only seemed to make Vincent's teeth sink in deeper. Sayid placed Shannon on the ground and grabbed the thick branch he'd used before. He hit the animal repeatedly, and when Vincent finally released Walt, it was because he'd stopped breathing.

In pure rage Michael grabbed the limb from Sayid and struck the dog a final time across the face, toppling its dead body over into the crimson blood that stained the sand. Michael grabbed Walt's body and cradled it to his chest as tears began to stream down his face. Sayid's eyes were filled with sorrow as he watched Michael cry over his lost child. Shannon simply sat in her spot where she had been placed and stared mindlessly out into the ocean, not acknowledging the death taking place only a few feet away from her, or the blood that was splattered on her supermodel legs.

Kate's breaths increased as she watched from a couple feet away. A tear broke loose from her eye as she stared at the lifeless body of ten-year-old Walt. The sticky, bloody sand pasted around his body. She could smell his blood, even over the ocean air.

Suddenly the copper smell of blood was replaced by the distasteful smell of a cigarette and she felt a warm hand on her shoulder and a hoarse voice whisper, "Kate." She wouldn't look at him; she couldn't pull her eyes away from the gory scene before her.

Sawyer walked around and stood in front of her, "You don't need to see that anymore," he declared as he threw his cigarette to the ground.

"As its teeth sink in, we realize, we're not going home," she mumbled as she stared at the ground.

Sawyer stared at her, "What the hell did you just say?" he demanded. Kate looked up to him with clouded eyes and pursed lips, not finding the answer he needed to hear.

* * *

Sayid, Locke and Michael buried Walt almost immediately after his speedy death. Everyone except for Jack attended his funeral, Shannon even left her mark on the beach, her legs wobbly from ill-usage, but Sayid kept her up straight.

Everyone was very solemn, no lighthearted comments were made by Hurley or Sawyer, and no one said a word that wasn't a grievance or a prayer. Everyone was finally realizing that their innocence was gone, Walt, the youngest member other then Aaron, was dead.

"Where was Jack in all this?" Michael spoke harshly, breaking the silence at the newly dug and covered grave, "Where is he?"

No one said a word, figuring that Michael was letting his grievance out, "Where the hell is he!" he yelled, as he stood from beside the grave, his tears drying in his eyes and his grave face turning to portray rage.

"Michael, maybe you should go for a walk," Locke suggested as he approached the heartbroken father, laying a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I don't wanna go for a walk, man. I want to find Jack so he can tell me where he was when he could've saved my sons life!" he yelled as he jerked Locke's hand off.

"What exactly did you expect Jack to do?" Kate questioned. Everyone's eyes flew off of Michael and landed on her, "He couldn't have saved Walt and you know it."

"He should've been here, he could've stopped it from happening," Michael growled.

"Every time something goes wrong, you can't blame Jack. The truth is he didn't want to be in the leader seat, but all of you pushed him there, and now when he does a few wrong things, you think you can blame him for everything," she explained, "But in reality, it's all your own doing."

Michael's hands fell beside his body, one clenched in a fist, the other twitching as he swallowed harshly, "Where is he Kate?" he asked, his voice trying to hold onto it's gentility, but his body language was threatening. Sawyer watched him very carefully, he was only a few feet away from Kate, and if Mikey here tried something, here was ready for him.

"I don't know," announced, her eyes glued to his.

"Where is he?" Michael yelled with crazed eyes as he took a step forward. Locke stepped in Michael's path, while Sun took hold of Shannon and Sayid stepped beside Kate.

"Alright, fine!" Michael hollered, his voice echoing through the lifeless jungle, "If you won't tell me, I'll go find him myself!" he stated as he reached forward, grabbing the handle of a knife Locke had strapped around his waist.

"Michael," Locke's eyes got wide with surprise, "Put the knife down. I know you're feeling hurt and confused because this happened so fast, but this isn't how to settle it."

Michael turned his back and began to walk through the dense grouping of the luscious trees. "Let him go," Sayid suggested to Locke who was about to go in after him, "It's better for him to deal with his problem."

"What about Jack?" Locke reminded, "He's out there, unarmed, and not expecting an attack."

"I don't think we have to worry about Jack," Sayid began as he glanced towards Kate, "Something tells me he can take care of himself."

"It's not what you think," She stated grimly, "I went to go see him, but he wasn't there. I left to come back to the beach, but it was dark and I couldn't see where I was going, so I fell down a hill."

Sayid looked at her questioningly, along with Locke, who held a look of sorrow, she knew he could tell she was lying, but her eyes pleaded with his not to tell.

"Kate, it's very important that we get the whole story, if we're going to find a way to stop whatever it is that's happening to Jack, we need to be fully informed on what he can do, we need to know what we're up against," Sayid disclosed to her patiently, giving her a chance to reveal the sordid truth.

"That is the truth," she answered stubbornly.

"She's tellin' the truth," Sawyer spoke up, "I was the one who helped her back to camp," he divulged.

"I thought you hadn't seen Jack," Sayid questioned skeptically, as he drew a step closer to Sawyer.

"I never said I saw Jacko," he stated, "I saw Freckles here, tumble through the woods and her way down the hill like a damn Raggedy Ann Doll."

"And what exactly were you doing out in the jungle that late?" Sayid queried.

"I was takin' a leak, is that illegal now too?" Sawyer replied sassily.

"Okay," Sayid sighed, "I believe you," he told Kate, "But from now on, with Jack and Michael in the woods, we shouldn't be out here alone, or after dark."

* * *

The day had passed in a hurry, wanting to get as far away from the beach as it could. Who could blame it? A ten-year-old boy's blood still sat clotting on the fluffy sands.

Kate lay propped up against her suitcase inside her shelter. She couldn't lie down on her back, or her stomach, because the bruises were still swelling. Her eyes drifted open and closed, almost timed with the waves crashing on the shore. The only other sound that night was Aaron crying from someway down the beach.

Through the sliver sized opening in her tent, she watched the jungle very carefully. To everyone she was suddenly public enemy number one, with no one believing her except Sawyer.

"Dammit Freckles, you asleep again?" he questioned as he pushed his way into her tent. A jolt of alarm swept through her body, pulling her out of La La Land and into the harsh dankness of reality.

"I would be, if you would stop barging in here whenever you wanted," she grumbled angrily.

"Hell, you sleep more then I do Freckles, and I sleep a lot," he told her as he sat down beside her.

"Well I have an excuse," she expressed as she shifted her weight, wincing, "The swelling still hasn't stopped."

"And whose damn fault is that?" Sawyer questioned, not a shred of pity in his body.

Kate looked over to him with repulsion, "You think I wanted this to happen to me?" she questioned crossly.

"Of course not, but I know you ain't the innocent little girl you want everyone to think you are," he replied as he took out a cigarette and a lighter, "If you let it happen, then some part of you allowed it to."

"You're unbelievable," Kate scoffed as she pushed herself to get up but fell back into place.

"What happen, did I strike a nerve?" he asked with a snigger as he placed the cigarette and lighter away; better not to tick her off to a breaking point.

"Shut up," she told him suddenly, trying to listen to something she couldn't hear over her voice.

"What? Jack calling you back to the jungle for…" he started, but she leaned over and clamped a hand over his mouth. The coarse stubble that grew over his chin was itching her hand, "Just be quiet for a sec," she demanded.

Sawyer looked at her and grabbed her delicate wrist, removing her hand from his mouth. The only sounds of the night were the dull crashing of the waves and the piercing cry of Aaron.

"Do you hear that?" she questioned as she squirmed to get up.

"All I hear are the damn waves and Baby Huey screamin' his head off," Sawyer stated.

"That's it," she told him, "Aaron never cries for this long, something's wrong."

"What the hell are you talkin' about?" Sawyer questioned with a dubious glance her way.

"I was right about Walt and Vincent wasn't I?" she reminded, "Now help me up!" she demanded frantically.

"Okay, take it easy Freckles," he expressed as he got up, then reached down, grabbing Kate by her forearms, "I got ya," he told her as he helped her up carefully, but speedily. Her cool skin tingled the ends of his fingers, but as soon as she rose to her feet, she ran from the tent towards where Charlie and Claire were situated.

He moaned irately as he trailed her across the sand, if he didn't go with her, she'd probably end up getting hurt and then he'd end up getting blamed some how, even if it was only himself doing the finger pointing.

When he got there, he stood beside her idly, and watched as Charlie and Claire's savage argument progressed. Both screaming so loud that their faces were painted a light red in the moonlight. Neither seemed to notice that Aaron was crying, or that Sawyer and Kate were right beside them.

"Why isn't anyone doing anything?" Kate asked as she turned around to look for Sayid. She found him sitting next to Shannon on the beach as usual.

"If you don't shut that bloody bastard child up," Charlie threatened, "I swear to God he won't be the only one eating mashed up food!"

"Don't fucking tell me how to raise my bloody baby!" She yelled back as she threw a flashlight at Charlie, "You don't know anything about me!"

"I know that you're a horrible mother, you didn't even want the little bugger!" He reminded sadistically.

"I'll bloody shut him up!" Charlie grumbled as she walked towards the baby's crib. Kate's eyes got wide, "Claire! Claire I can take him for awhile if you want," Kate offered.

"You can bloody well have him," Claire told as she turned her back from her child and went back to arguing with Charlie.

"What the hell's gotten into to them?" Sawyer asked as he looked to the couple violently arguing and back to Kate.

"It's starting," she mumbled incoherently, as she stared down at the tiny baby boy who cried for his mother.

"What?" Sawyer questioned, "What's starting? What the hell are you talking about Freckles!" he yelled.

"I'll tell you later," she assured, "Just grab the cradle," she demanded as she reached in and pulled out the fussing newborn.

"Just leave the kid," Sawyer told her, "You don't know how to take care of a baby."

"Of course I don't" she hissed as she held Aaron to her chest, "But if I leave him here, his own mother will kill him."

Sawyer moaned and picked up the cradle Locke had made for Claire, "You'd better know what you're doing," he warned as he followed her back to her shelter.

She glared at Sawyer as she tried to coax Aaron from crying, "It's okay," she whispered.

"Like hell it is," Sawyer stated back.

"Remember me?" she questioned to the little baby, who gazed up at her silently, "I was the one who delivered you in the jungle."

"So you know you can trust her," Sawyer muttered back as he rolled his eyes. Aaron's lower lip began to quiver and he started to cry once again.

"Sawyer, you're scaring him," she gave him a loathing look as she held Aaron close to her once again, so he couldn't see Sawyer. Sawyer opened his mouth to set off a smart-alecky remark, but was interrupted by the sounds of a struggle and a thud someway down the beach.

"What was that?" Kate asked curiously as Aaron began to fall asleep against her, she cautiously walked over and peered out of the tent, noticing nothing different from her landscape view.

"It was probably Mohamed trying to pull Barbie into one of the tents, we're gonna get another storm," he stated obviously.

"No," Kate shook her head, "I don't think that was it, Shannon's still sitting and Sayid's not there."

"You wanna go investigate, don't ya?" Sawyer let out an exasperated sigh, "How come every time I sit down with you, I gotta get back up?"

"You have to get up every time you sit down anywhere, but we me it just happens a lot faster," she declared as she left the tent with Aaron, not even waiting for him to get up.

"Freckles, if you want me to come with you, you've at least gotta wait up for me," he commented as he jogged to catch up with her.

"Well we're not all smokers," she replied diligently, Sawyer glared at her, but with a well placed smile, she inveigled her way out of his coarse looks. "You think you're pretty cunning, don't you?" Sawyer questioned, but Kate had stopped walking, "Why you stoppin'?" Sawyer called back.

"Look," Kate gulped out as she pointed to Charlie and Claire's tent; blood lay dripping from the metal sides and splattered across the shining blue tarp. Claire lay face down in the sand, a pool of blood expanding from around her head. A large gash was cut in her sandy blonde hair, where a crimson river flowed freely.

On the other side of the tent, Sayid stood looking over Charlie; his throat cut by one of Locke's knives from side to side which caused the stipple effect on the tarp, blood tinged the tape letters on his fingers that read B-A-I-T.

"What the hell happened here?" Sawyer asked, revolted and disgusted by the carnage of the bodies of his fellow castaways.

"Charlie killed Claire," Sayid replied candidly. Sawyer stared at him a moment before looking back to Kate, who's eyes were dizzying as she fought to keep the fidgeting Aaron from looking at the slaughter.

"Who the hell killed Charlie then?" Sawyer questioned as he took a step closer to Kate.

"I did," Sayid answered vacantly. This drove Kate out of her reverie, her eyes bounced up to Sawyer's then to Sayid's. Both of them wondering why he would've brutally murdered Charlie so quickly.

"He killed Claire," Sayid continued after a few moments, "He had a knife and he wasn't sane anymore. He was a threat to me and everyone else in this camp if he would kill the one he loved the most."

"You should call Locke in," Kate suggested indifferently, still staring at the pools of dark blood being absorbed into the sand. She wondered that if Aaron actually had a chance to grow up on this island, if all the pure, virtuous beaches would be tarnished red.

"Yes I suppose he would take care of the bodies," he agreed remorsefully.

"Freckles, do I gotta pull you away from the mess again, or can you make it back to the tent yourself?" Sawyer queried harshly as he noticed her never taking her eyes off the blood.

"You're too over-protective," Kate told him blankly, "You're not supposed to be the hero," she added. Knowing he knew who rightfully belonged in that niche.

A certain longing sent his eyes aglow for a brief moment, and if Kate hadn't been staring at the bloodshed and mangled bodies that used to be Charlie and Claire, she wouldn't have missed it.

"Just go back to sleep," he told her callously, trying to cover the hurt she caused him. She looked like she was going to respond with some cutthroat remark but he interrupted her, "You're shackled with Rosemary's baby permanently now," he reminded her.

She looked down to the tiny boy sleeping in her arms, she'd completely forgotten about him. Perhaps if she made sure that Aaron was okay, if he didn't die from part of this disease, there would be at least a glimmer of hope. If she took care of him, perhaps it would be some sort of penance, a repayment for what she'd done by lying to Sayid.

She nodded gravely and turned away from the two men, dragging her feet through the sand therapeutically, closing her eyes and pretending that she didn't see it colored in the blood of her closest friends, that it didn't become syrupy between her toes.

She let out a small sigh of relief when she made it to her abode without having a nervous breakdown when she thought about the future, or how she was supposed to feed a baby who was still supposed to be breastfeeding.

Silently, she placed Aaron in his crib. He awoke only for a second, casting his beautiful azure eyes upon her. Giving her almost a smile of adoration, a gift for her upon his part, like he knew what was going on. For that brief second, Kate actually connected with someone on the island, for a purely good reason.

She smiled back and caressed his lightly haired head, as she tucked the blanket lightly around him as he fell into sleep once again. She stood leaning against his crib for a few moments just taking in the relief that he would be okay for one more night.

"Kate?" a voice asked from behind her. She recognized the tone of it and that appreciated relief was immediately flushed from her system. The voice, his voice, once a beacon of healing, now sounded like nails on a chalkboard, sending a chilling quake down her spine. "What happened here?" he questioned when she didn't acknowledge him.

She swallowed the acrid lump in her throat and gave one last gaze to the slumbering Aaron before she turned around to face him, her most beloved becoming her worst fear. With as much serenity as she could muster, she camouflaged her trepidation and with a shaky voice asked, "What are you doing here Jack?"

_

* * *

And the comments which will be answered finally (Because I'm not busy)_

**lostobsessivefreak**_  
Lol you said you liked dark, how was this for you? Though maybe you shouldn't be reading it because you UNDERAGE! Lol but that doesn't stop you from writing NC-17. You rebel you. I'm gonna look over you chapter when I'm finished here, and then maybe get some sleep before Wonderland lol._

**CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88  
**_Thanks for all your help chum, lol and I can't wait for the next chapter because I get to start what I've been waiting for (squeeee) I'll give you a hint, it rhymes with bitchslap! MY DAY HAS COME! Okay I'm excited, you can tell, but I've been rehearing it, really, I watched Mortal Kombat over 5 times just to get the beating to perfection._

**Octobersky  
**_You think that was bad, you got no idea what I've got planned up my sleeve, this is what I like to call my "no strings attached' story. I can do whatever I want, how I want with who I want and when I want. Lol but not why I want. But anyways, it's only gonna get better from here on in. And I'll tell you no one is safe_

**Orlando-Crazy  
**_Thanks_

**Rain1657  
**_Lol I'm glad I surprised you, and you should know by now that writing is my puppet and I command it to dance for me! But really I totally got tired of fluff. It was always fluff, and I was starting to not enjoy it anymore, so I took a break to write this, and who knows, when it's done, maybe I'll be able to write my fluffy stories better, because I know what I can do on the other end of the spectrum. _

**Whirlwind-2005  
**_Good question, you'll find the answer to it in the last chapter probably, if not the next one, it still might be fuzzy in the next one though. But definitely the last chapter will clear everything up. _

**Freckles-101  
**_Yeah he was pretty feral (That's my new word I overuse it to death) anyways, he's back now and that can only spell one thing  
Ethan: T-K-O  
Or you know……Trouble, but I'll give you points for trying. _

_

* * *

Alright you guys I'm officially off school but I have to learn to drive and I have to go to Wonderland (It's imperative) seriously some guy told me if I didn't go, he'd kill my dog  
Ethan: and I meant it.  
So I'll start to work on the next chapter on Sunday. And I'll aim to have it done by Thursday because the parental units won't be kind to me now that I have no job and am off school. _


	4. The Rising Pestilence

_Aright, I've got to tell you that I've split the last chapter into three. This being the first of three, because it was way to long and way too much to handle all at once. You'd be overly shock, and plus it'd take me forever to write and I'd feel rushed to get it up to you guys and it wouldn't be the best of my writing. So bare with me, because I'm currently working on finishing this and starting another story with CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 which is gonna kick some ass!  
PS you'll notice there's a lot about eyes in this chapter (I suppose you will if your observant) I have no idea what this is, just go with the flow.  
Also all the captions from songs are by the Dresden Doll, this is not to annoy or plug, I put them up specifically because I feel they have a relevance to the text. See I can be smart when I want to…  
I didn't use all of CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88's words this time, mostly because I wanted to be a rebel, and because I cut this chapter short. But I did use some…  
Glazed  
Vague  
Exasperate  
Dawn  
Deranged  
Forlorn  
Hopeless  
Nonchalant  
_

The Rising Pestilence 

"Two halves are equal,  
a cross between two evils,  
it's not an enviable lot.  
But if you listen,  
you'll learn to hear the difference,  
between the halfs and the half nots."

- 'Half Jack' by The Dresden Dolls

He gazed at her for a minute, observing how her conduct changed the moment he revealed himself to her. She seemed to shrink away from him, her hands gripping the wooden edge on Aaron's crib as she watched him intently, her tempestuous emerald eyes grew large with fear.

Jack took a step towards her and she flinched, he stopped, examining her carefully, "What's wrong?" He was so innocent, not remembering a shard of what he did to her when they last met.

"Jack," she whispered as she shook her head, her voice was cracking, her hands were sweating, "Don't come closer," tears were stinging her eyes as she tried to blink them back.

He stared at her in shock for a moment, then an expression of hurt came across his face, "Kate, what did I do?"

"I know you didn't mean it Jack," she smiled weakly, as she wiped the tears away from her eyes, "But I can't erase it from my mind."

"What did I do?" he questioned again, beginning to feel queasy about how Kate was acting towards him.

She took a long breath in, "Well I went to your cave when you came back," she began, unable to look at him as she spoke, "and we talked for a little bit, you told me you loved me," she looked up briefly with a small smile, "and then we kissed."

Jack's face let up for a moment as he gave a shy grin, "But then you started to get rough, you started to hurt, and things got out of hand," Kate added, "And, well, I'm sure you can guess the rest."

Jack stood motionless, his face a blank slate, as he stared at the side of Kate's shelter. She watched him as she leaned near Aaron's crib; he looked as if he seemed to be breaking in front of her eyes.

"Why didn't you stop me?" he questioned his body trembling, "You should have stopped me anyway you could."

"I couldn't do it, Jack," she divulged shaking her head, "Even with you doing what you were doing, every time I looked at you I only remembered the real you."

"Kate, I'm so sorry" he whispered, his voice shaky and croaky, "I never meant to hurt you." He turned to her, his hazel eyes full of tears, "I never wanted to do that. I don't know what's wrong with me."

He was being sincere and Kate could sense that this was her Jack, the one she stitched up, "Jack," she murmured as she walked towards him, encircling her arms around him as he cried silently into her shoulder.

"How can you even come near me?" he whispered, his voice full of self shame.

"I know it's you," she answered as her cool hand gently swayed across his thick, hot neck.

"What am I going to do?" he asked her, his tears had stopped but he still embraced her, taking comfort in her loving nature.

"We're going to get through this together," she told him as her hand ran over his short hair, "We'll try and find an antidote or a remedy or something," she informed him, "But you have to stay here, no matter what happens. You can't run away again."

He pulled away from her, his eyes glimpsing into hers for a brief moment, "I don't know what I'll do Kate, what I'm capable of doing, I mean," he paused becoming jittery at the fact of admitting what he'd done, "If I could do that, to you of all people I could do anything."

"Jack," she placed a hand on his cheek, "We'll get through this together. I promise."

"I really do love you," he disclosed. Kate nodded as she settled her head close to his chest, listening to the thump of his heart. He was still human, he could still feel, he was just ill, "I know you do. I love you too."

She turned her head up to his and he laid a tender kiss on her swollen lips, "We could try some of the different medication we have for different disorders," he stated, "Lithium might help."

"You shouldn't take any medication if it could be dangerous to you," Kate informed, "You don't need to make this any worse then it has to be," she explained lightly skimming her finger over his cheek.

"It's not like we have a lot to work with Kate," he explained disheartened as he smiled feebly at her, trying not to seem completely hopeless.

"At least electroshock therapy isn't an option," she joked, trying to lighten the mood, but Jack's grim disposition didn't change.

He pulled her to him, his hand rustled through her hair as his cheek pressed against hers. They stayed in that position for a moment, both knowing that there was only a thin chance of finding a cure, and even if one of the prescriptions did help, they had no idea how long they'd be stranded on the island, the pills were sure to run out sooner or later.

"I'm sorry for anything I might do to you in the future," he spoke softly into her ear, his voice shaking as he said the words he didn't want to hear, "I don't want to hurt you."

He pulled back and looked into her glazed eyes as she watched him wordlessly. He brought up one of his thumbs, and traced Kate's puffy lower lip with it, "I want to kiss you," he told her, but then he shook his head mistakenly, "But I don't deserve it."

Kate took his hands within her, and guided them down to his side; she pushed herself up and affectionately pressed her lips against his. She could feel him grin for a moment before he kissed her back. His lips were exactly as she thought they would be, warm, gentle, soothing, and for a moment she'd forgotten all about everything that happened after the plane crash.

He pulled away suddenly, and she cast her green eyes on him, a look of puzzlement coursing through them, "Are you comfortable with this?" he asked her, concerned for her well being, "Because I understand if you're not."

"Jack," she muttered as she pulled him back to her, "I know it's really you," she whispered into his ear, and then kissed his cheek.

His arms slithered to her waist, skimming over the gashes in her skin from the rocky wall of the cave just enough that he could feel the jagged edges of the wounds through the light material of her top.

Aaron's crib shook as he stirred out of sleep, automatically his mouth opened and he let out a small croak of a cry, then slowly increased it until it almost sounded like an air raid alarm.

"Jack," Kate pulled away and gestured to the crib a few feet away, "Aaron," she simply stated as she broke away from him to tend to the baby.

"He'll be fine for a little bit longer," Jack grinned as he pulled Kate back to him. She smiled at his passion and didn't pull away when he kissed her again.

Aaron's cries grew louder, and more urgent as he began to squirm inside his crib shaking it monumentally, begging for attention.

"Jack," Kate retracted once again, "He needs something," she commented as she left go of his hand.

"Kate, he'll be fine, newborns cry all the time," he declared kindly as he gripped her hand again.

"Claire's dead Jack," she informed, "He needs her and she's not here, so I have to do the best job I can to give him what he needs."

"Fine," Jack agreed a sudden harshness to his voice as he let go of Kate's hand, "I'll give him what he needs."

The difference in him was obvious, his voice dripping with sarcasm and ruthlessness. Kate took a few seconds to notice the change and realized he was walking towards Aaron.

"Jack!" she reached for his arm and pulled him back to her, "You're right, he'll be all right," she agreed, as she maneuvered back into his arms, hoping that she could get his attention off of Aaron, willing to take whatever Jack threw out for him.

He gave her a deranged, lopsided grin, one that made her blood turn cold. He dug his fingers into her back, as his lips consumed hers with raw power. He was being so spiteful; tears of pain began to run down Kate's face, as Aaron still cried for attention.

"Why won't he shut up!" Jack yelled as he threw Kate away from him and began to march over to the crib.

"Jack, don't!" Kate pleaded as she grabbed his hand with hers, trying to hold him back, "He's just a baby," she begged.

"Shut up!" Jack demanded as he turned around, and in one swift movement, his fist flew directly at her face. It knocked her out cold, and she toppled over into a lifeless pile.

Jack stared at her for a moment, then at his hand, noticing the tiny speckles of blood laced across it, "Oh my God," he whispered, as he looked at his shaking hand for a moment.

He turned to Kate, who lay limply on the ground, her left eye growing swollen and almost black in color. Her cheek had a few droplets of warm, crimson blood spread across it. He was in shock, he hadn't even seen what he'd done, but deep in the back of his mind, he knew what he'd done.

When he finally moved to help her, he stopped short when he heard footsteps approaching the tent, "Jesus Freckles," Sawyer groaned as he got nearer to the entrance, "Can't you shut that thing up?" he asked as he entered the tent.

He froze in his spot when he saw Jack, standing in front of the baby's crib, his body towering over Kate crumpled on the ground, "What did you do?" Sawyer grumbled, "What did you do?"

"I…I don't know," he spoke truthfully, "I didn't mean to hurt her, I'm not myself," he exclaimed shaken as his eyes darted from Kate to Sawyer.

"Get out of here!" Sawyer yelled as he glared at Kate, then at Jack. He pointed to the jungle and screamed, "Get out!"

Jack quickly passed by him and through the opening of the tent, running back to the comforting haven of the jungle. Sayid and Locke just missed his shadow entering the trees; they had heard the screaming and had come to investigate.

Sawyer had moved inside and was crouched beside Kate's body, trying to rouse her. Aaron still laying wailing in his crib as Sayid and Locke came in, "What happened?" Sayid yelled over Aaron's screaming.

"I don't know, go get Sun," he shouted back, "The baby needs something, and Freckles sure can't give it to him."

Sayid nodded and ventured off to find Sun, "You should take her to the medical tent," Locke suggested as Sawyer picked up her wilted body gently, "Shannon's there now for malnutrition, so if she wakes up, you'll know."

Sawyer agreed and as Locke held back the flaps he exited into the cool night. Sun and Sayid came rushing up, with Jin slightly trailing them.

"What happened?" Sun asked. Her brown eyes shot up to Sawyer then to Locke looking for an answer before she looked back down to Kate.

"I don't know, and I sure as hell wish people would stop askin' me!" he huffed as he headed towards the medical tent. It was the largest of the tents, with room for five, but it was only to be used in case of emergencies. With the survivors dying down like they were, Sawyer was pretty sure no one would mind.

He walked inside and delicately set Kate down in an opposite corner from Shannon. She looked up at him weakly, with her blue bloodshot and sunken eyes almost pleading to be let go.

"What happened?" she muttered faintly, her chest heaving like the words caused her pain.

Sawyer would've exploded if anyone else asked that question, but since it was the first words she'd spoken in over a week, he'd let it slide, "I think Jacko did this," he offered, "Everything's going to hell."

"This is hell," she replied bluntly. He stared at her in disbelief for a few seconds, but their conversation was ended by footsteps coming to the opening of the tent.

"Dude this is bad," Hurley stated when he saw the state of both Kate and Shannon.

"I suggest that one other person stay with them, Locke, Sawyer, Hurley, Jin and I will rotate on guard shifts, and…"

"Babysittin'," Sawyer finished Sayid's sentence for him, and received a cross look for it.

"I'm taking care of Aaron, so I can move his cradle in here and do some shifts as well when I'm not looking for fruit," Sun offered, as she hiked up the snoozing baby boy.

"No one should be even near the jungle," Sayid warned, "not within an arms distance of it."

"I can find fruit and boars, if Hurley and Jin still want to catch fish," Locke proposed.

"Yeah, that's fine with me Dude," Hurley agreed. Sun translated quickly for Jin and he shook his head in agreement.

"I'll take the first hospital shift," Sawyer suggested suddenly. Everyone looked to him with surprise.

"With Shannon's asthma, you won't be able to smoke in here," Sayid cautioned as he strapped one of Locke's knives to his belt.

"Then I won't smoke," he concurred. Sayid eyed him suspiciously for a moment, but then gave a nod of his head, "Alright, we'll be stationed around the jungle line, about one hundred yards from one another," he informed as he bent down and kissed the crown of Shannon's head, the looked to Sawyer, "If you need use for anything, just shout, one of us is sure to see you."

He nodded and watched as the other's left, when they were a safe distance away he turned to Shannon, "I'll be right back, if anything happens with either of you two, just scream or somethin'" he stated as he left the tent for a few minutes.

Shannon cast her blue eyes on Kate, who didn't move at all, except for the quivering rise and fall of her chest. She heard a noise outside, but didn't startle when Sawyer came back in with a rag and a bottle of peroxide.

He bent back down beside Kate, and gently began cleaning the small, but bleeding scratch on her cheek, "You tell anyone about this Sticks," he warned her with an irate scowl.

Shannon only grinned in return, "You really must like her," she muttered as she adjusted herself against the bundles of pillows Sayid was sure to pack behind her, "You're not even complaining."

He let out a dry laugh, then placed the supplies over to the side. His hand came up and delicately moved a strand of her hair that had been plastered to her face away, "Like I said, you tell anyone an'…"

"Yeah, yeah," Shannon yawned as she turned to her side, "I'm going to sleep until you're gone."

* * *

"So what are you in for?" she heard someone ask. Their voice was muddled somewhere in the back of her head. She couldn't even tell if it was a guy or a girl, or if they were talking to her.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," the second voice replied, it had a higher cadence from the first, though it sounded a bit rusty. They were becoming more lucid in her head and she recognized one as male and one as female.

"Just try me Dude," came the reply and she immediately knew that the male of the conversation was Hurley.

"Well, you see, they say I'm malnourished," the female stated over dramatically. Kate identified her to be Shannon.

"You don't say!" Hurley replied with feigned shock.

"You two make enough noise to wake the dead," Kate moaned as she opened her eyes and saw the dim light of several fires strewn around the tent.

"That's what we were supposed to do Dude," Hurley enlightened as he scooted back so Shannon could see the newly revived Kate.

"Wow, I think you're the only person here who looks worse then me," she croaked. It was supposed to be meant as a joke, but someone coming from Shannon, even in the condition she was in, it wasn't very funny.

"Thanks," She mumbled as she placed a hand over her eyes and winced when her fingers brushed against the tender skin of her eye.

Hurley moved over and helped her sit back against the mound of pillows Sawyer had quickly accumulated for her, "We were just talking how we looked like opposites," he announced as he rested next to Shannon.

He was definitely telling the truth, with Hurley's large stature versus Shannon's protruding ribs, they were definitely opposites, "Where's Aaron?" she questioned laying a hand gently over her bruised eye.

"Sun's taking care of him," Hurley announced, "Sawyer's on watch with Sayid and Locke, his time is almost up, but I should probably go and tell him you're awake if I don't want any smart-aleck remarks sent my way," he stated as he got up and left the tent.

"You seem to be in better spirits," Kate groaned as she watched Shannon grin from across the tent.

"I decided that maybe I didn't want to die soon after all," she stated as she took a drink from her bottle of water. Kate sent her a smile.

"Sleepin' Beauty," Sawyer cried as he entered the tent, "You finally graced us with your presence."

"Well only so I could out do you for the worst black-eye," she divulged as he sat beside her.

Sayid came in after him and sat beside Shannon, a grin plastered to his face, "I'm glad to see you're eating again," he told her as he placed a piece of hair behind her ears.

She smiled as she leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek, "Thanks for putting up with me."

"Dude, it's almost sunrise," Hurley stated from outside the tent, "Jin and I better start fishing," he announced as he walked away from the tent to go retrieve Jin.

"Can we go watch the sunrise?" Shannon asked, "I haven't been able to enjoy it for awhile," she explained.

"Of course," Sayid replied and moved to pick her up.

"No, I can walk," she assured as she rose, wobbly-legged like a new born deer, but still managed to take some unbalanced steps.

Kate and Sawyer watched as they slowly made their way out of the tent to go watch the glorious sunrise of a new day, "She's doing a lot better," Kate commented with a smile.

"How are you feelin'?" Sawyer asked, sitting next to her and resting his back on the mound of pillows.

"Like I need a stiff drink," Kate replied as she turned to him.

"The last thing you need is a drink, you'll be so shitfaced by the night, that by dawn you'll be complaining to me about every little thing," he expressed with a chuckle.

"Well I don't want to be a burden," she replied sarcastically.

"Hell, you already are, I tell ya to stay away from Jacko, and you go to the caves to talk to him, and you-know-what happens. Then after you realize he's dangerous, you don't even scream when he comes into your tent," he recapped, "Maybe you should just go live in the jungle with him."

"He keeps coming to me," she divulged, a forlorn look crossed her face, "I tried to help him, but I can't, no one can. It's the same with Shannon, she might be making a recovery, but it won't last that long."

"You care to tell me what the hell this is all about?" Sawyer asked exasperated, "Every time you start talking about what's happening around here, it ends up coming out like some damned jigsaw puzzle."

"Rousseau told us about a sickness that got the rest of her crew, she had to fend then off and eventually kill them all," she explained vaguely, "Basically all of us here are going to get it, go mad, and kill each other. That's why Charlie killed Claire and why Sayid killed Charlie."

"No, Muhammad killed the reject because he killed Claire," Sawyer corrected, as he watched her become uncomfortable about the subject.

"Sayid has it Sawyer," she enlightened, "He's had it ever since Walt died, he's just been fighting it off better then anyone else."

"So he's gonna go crazy and murder us all?" he questioned doubtfully.

She closed her eyes, "Sawyer, I want to go to sleep now," she informed nonchalantly; "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Kate," there was her name again, "You can't just go to sleep and pretend like none o' this is happening," he growled at her seriously.

"Why not?" she questioned as she turned to her side, letting her beaten cheek be brandished in the dawn's light, "It's what I've been doing since I've figured it out."

Sawyer stared at her in disbelief, how could she just act like everything was fine? "Well what the hell do you want me to do then?" he queried, wondering if there was someway he could stop the virus.

"Well you can stay here and sleep if you shut up," she suggested, "If not move out," she mumbled as she nuzzled into the pillows.

He sat up and looked out to the ocean, Shannon and Sayid sat giggling as the sun rose. They cuddled closer and rested against each other. Down the beach Sun was watching Hurley and Jin fish as she bounced Alex who was smiling.

"I should go do somethin'," Sawyer expressed, "Collect wood or fruit or somethin'."

"Then go," she mumbled, her voice dulled by the pillows.

"But what if Jack comes back here?" he questioned, turning to her.

"Then stay," she murmured softer.

He sighed and leaned back once again, his hands rested under his head as he stared up at the tarp thrown across for the ceiling waver in the wind. Half-conscious Kate moved towards him, leaning her head against his chest. As if a programmed reaction, his arm came down to rest on her shoulders and he felt her sigh.

He felt guilty, but he wasn't going to come out and admit it to her. It was his own fault she got assaulted by Jack. If he came back to the tent with her, he would've been there to protect her. He wouldn't make that mistake again; he'd follow her no matter where she went, and if she declined his protection he could just follow her secretly. He'd let her slip by him twice, there was no way he was going to let it happen again.

_

* * *

Hope you enjoyed the somewhat niceness of this chapter, because the next chapter is gonna be harsh. Oh and to clarify, there's four characters who are immune to the disease all together, and two who have a less evil, but still fatal strand (I know you're probably like "Different strand! You can't do that!") Well guess what I just did, so there!_

_**Whirlwind-2005  
**__Hmmm, Sayid going crazy next? That'd be a pretty good guess, but it's wrong I'm afraid. And this story (I'm sorry) is only going to be 2 more chapters long, because when it ends, it's ending for sure. _

_**Octobersky  
**__Yep Evil Jack is back, but he's left. But will he be back again? And what about Michael? _

_**Freckles-101  
**__Well Aaron's not Kate's responsibility as of now, Sun's taking care of him, which would be a better choice, because she seems to know a lot more then Kate. But still a newborn baby can't grow with out milk, and there's none there to give him…_

_**lostobsessivefreak  
**__I've got some darkness planned for 'Just In Case' but not for awhile. And I thought that this chapter was generally gentle, but it's the last of almost fluff you'll be seeing in this story. _

_**CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88  
**__I didn't use all your words (falls to the ground crying) I'm sorry, but I thought it'd be best to save what happens next, for the next chapter, otherwise it would've been rushed and blah, blah, blah. But I'll try and use up the extra words in that one. While I put the random characters on the chopping block.  
_

_**Next Chapter  
**__The deaths of many characters until only a select few are left. I'm not gonna say who, or how, or why (though I bet you can guess), but it all leads up to the best damn conclusion I've ever done thought up! _


	5. The Sweetest High

_Hey guys, sorry for not updating for awhile, but I got addicted to Sims. And made a big Sims/Lost neighborhood! Lol and I made Shannon and Sayid have millions of childings! Who's Skinny now Shannon! Who's SKINNY NOW! Anyways, it's good because I needed a break from writing because it was becoming way to tedious. So when I wasn't playing Sims, I was writing (I sleep like 4 hours a day now) so this whole chapter was written from 4am to 6am for five days. And I think it's one of the best one's I've ever written. I'd love to know what you think of it, so reviews are always welcome. _

The Sickness

Chapter 5

The Sweetest Drug

"You won't sleep very tight,  
no hiding,  
no safe covers.  
Make your bed and now lie  
just like you always do  
you can fake it for the papers but I'm on to you..."  
- "Truce" by The Dresden Dolls

* * *

Who ever came up with the idea that to conquer your fear you must face it was obviously mistaken. She had never faced any of her fears. They all seemed to unravel themselves independently. The first being her father, ending his life when she was the age of ten. Her family was in debt, and he had a pretty penny attached to his life insurance. The next was the lingering idea of being captured while being on the run, but in her own arrogant conscious, she knew that when faced with the idea of capture and justice being served, that she could easily either charm or use her cunning sense to get her out. 

But this. This was different. You couldn't run from an island. Or the disease that embodied all or most of who civilized it the best way they knew how, their victory being curtail and quickly executed by an injection of a vile, mind-raping virus that destroyed from the inside out. How could you run from all your friends and even your enemies that you've sutured together throughout the past month? How could you watch them become discombobulated, rampaging savagely through the jungle, killing with their bare hands? The hands you shook, you high-fived, you gripped when you need help up, help dealing with this hell on Earth.

And that's why when she woke up in Sawyer's arms, quaked awake by a blood-curtailing scream that sent shivers traveling up her spine. She knew it belonged to Sun, and the parroting one following shortly after belonged to Shannon. She new someone else had passed, most definitely by foul play.

Her green-gray eyes stared out at the landscape that was visible from where she lay. The neutral cloudy appearance of the beach, the slate colored water of the ocean, crashing into the taupe sands, foaming and fizzing away, it all made her eyes hazy, bestowing a pulse of false comfort, telling her it was okay to sleep.

"The hell was that?" Sawyer mumbled groggily, half aware of the stench of death, so thick, Kate could swear she saw it drifting in, in thick, billowing, acidic columns. Sawyer himself is oblivious. It may be a masquerade, his way of dealing with the situation like Kate's twenty hours of sleep a day, but something tells her, his mannerisms would've greatly differed.

How was she supposed to reply? Someone else had died? Someone else was infected? Someone else threatened their lives, and the life of the tiny baby boy she delivered? Could she deny any knowledge? Would he buy it?

"Freckles?" He questioned, moving his arm from where it rested over her stomach. Her blood pressure was rising, she couldn't run from this. The walls of death were gradually closing in on her, it's odorous, murky waters rising, flowing into her nostrils, being swallowed in frantic gulps.

She glanced at him a second, her eyes dizzying with the cataclysmal pileup of thoughts ripping around in her head at once. She closed her eyes tightly, leaning her head against his chest, feeling his uncomfortable warmth grow into an unbearable heat.

"What the hell are you doing Freckles?" He questioned her furiously, pulling back. This was her escape. Her high. If she were asleep, unconscious, dead, she wouldn't have to deal with this hell and the pestilence sweeping thought it.

"I don't want to do it anymore," she sobbed, acidic tears, as thick as blood burning her eyes, staining her cheeks like red wine on white satin. She balled up her fists and held them protectively to her face. Hiding her breakdown, her emotional humiliation.

Sawyer stared at her in pure shock for a moment, the sudden zephyr of emotion beginning to clot up the stoic holes in her. She figured he'd shove her away, tell her to get a hold of herself, that or verbally berate her until her tears dried into stone as she became enraged.

But her perception eluded her, she forgot one of the seldom and only facts she knew about Sawyer's previous life. That he was a con man. And rule number one in the book, is never let anyone get under your skin deep enough to know what move you're going to make next.

He pressed his back against the concentrated downiness of the mountain of airplane pillow so he was sitting up. She still grasped for him, the human need to be comforted and realize someone has apathy, relation of situation. It was natural. Even for a wanted convict and a con man.

His temperature seeming to sizzle away, the intense embers cooling into frozen coals, transferring into her as she cried until she shook, beads of sweat commencing to protrude on her forehead. He lifted her hair, knotted together in matted locks and plastered to the back of her neck by sleep and sweat, then placed a refreshing hand under, on her neck, "let it out," he instructed.

His voice, the cadence of it terrifying, almost telling her to enjoy this moment because it's the last time she'll get screw around. From here on in it was business.

"You don't get it Sawyer," she huffed as she harshly pushed at her good eye with the palms of her hands, trying to rid her face of any evidence of tears, but they were like blood, leaving streaks of vibrant, screaming red smudged across her cheeks.

"I get it alright," he muttered as his hand rubbed up and down her back. He was acting cavalier again, acting like this was somehow all about him, it all revolved around him, he was center sun in this universe.

"You don't get anything, you're barely skimming the surface of this cesspool," she spat irately, as she pulled away. She could feel her blood beginning to simmer and the forming tears in her eyes turning hard as diamonds.

He scoffed at her, and gave shrug at her sudden disgust for him, "Muhammad's got it," he stated as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a cigarette, "In my opinion the great white hunter doesn't have it, but he's as shady as the canopies in the Jungle of Mystery," he commented as he captured the cigarette between his pursed lips and lit it, "I think Lardo's immune though," he replied as a column of smoke spewed from his mouth and diffused into the air, "lucky him."

"You knew?" She asked surprised at first, then realized he'd been playing her for a chump, "You knew this entire time?" she yelled angrily.

"Don't give me that much credit Freckles," he told her as he drew in a large breath, "I've just been pondering it while you've been sleeping. Which I don't understand," he began, another large column billowed into the air almost drowning out the death, "If you knew this all along, why wouldn't ya try to help, 'stead of drowning yourself with sleep? It's taking the cowards' way out."

"It's worked before," she informed as she tried to clear up the mist that had incased her face. The still phantom presence of tears. She pushed her face angrily and roughly, forgetting about her newest injury.

She winced aloud, as the pads of her fingers dug into the mushy, blue-black tissue around her eye. Colors danced before her as her head swam; she lost sight of Sawyer and thought for sure that she would lose consciousness once again.

"Hey," he yelled as he threw his cigarette butt away to be extinguished by the sand. He bent back down to her again, gripping her frail wrists tightly in his hands as she heaved in breath after painful breath, "Do I gotta watch you ever minute of the damn day?" he questioned as if she were incapable and incompetent.

"Weren't you just watching me?" she questioned sardonically as he helped her lie back until the swirling hues and nausea passed.

"Don't go getting lippy," he warned her. It sounded like a threat but there was no way to hold up his end of the bargain, it was empty.

"What are you going to hit me?" she questioned. Her eyes scanned his, and he seemed to hold a look of regret.

His rough hand came up and lightly stroked her good cheek, "I think you've been hit enough for one lifetime," he added with an inward, comforting smile, one that was seldom seen on his face. She mirrored it and reached up to touch his hand, but someone was approaching the tent.

Sand crunched close to the tent and soon Shannon's blonde head popped in unannounced, "Guys, Sayid needs you to come help him," she informed with a terrified, and lethargic look upon her face, "Hurley killed Jin." She stated it bluntly. Like it was a fact anyone should know. The world is round. Anything that goes up must come down. And Hurley killed Jin.

Sawyer sent a backwards glance at Kate, "You up for the walk Freckles, or wouldja rather stay here and grab another forty winks?" he asked her, in an arrogant all knowing way. He was rubbing in one of her many faults, challenging her to give it up.

"Yeah, I'm coming," she replied, taking the bait. He sent down one of his large hands to help her up, but she batted it away, being fully capable of pushing herself up.

"Guys, I think there's something wrong with Sayid," Shannon divulged as she wrapped her brittle arms around her body, trying to keep warm from the beaches slight wind, but maybe a fraction was for self comfort, "He's, not being himself," she replied as she looked to them with glassy eyes.

"Did he touch you?" Sawyer asked, his jaw set. After what had been done to Kate, he wasn't going to wait around and let it happen again.

"No," Shannon sent him a cold glare, "He's just not," she sighed, "Himself." Sawyer sent her a glare and Kate looked to her quizzically, "He's being more violent, he ummm," she looked down and began to play with the frayed ends of her blue jean shorts, "He want's to execute Hurley."

"What!" Sawyer asked as he looked directly at her, trying to determine if her statement was true. But what reason would she have to make a false one.

"This is going overboard," Kate muttered as she glanced to Shannon then to Sawyer.

"It's just going overboard now?" Sawyer questioned furiously, "It wasn't overboard when you had to take Baby Huey from his Ma because she wanted to kill him? Or when she got killed?" he was screaming now, his face turning red.

"Sawyer," Kate said in a calm voice, hoping to stop him before he divulged too much. The information they knew didn't need to be spread around the island and become public to those who already were infected.

"Or when the kid got eaten by the damn family pet?" he continued to shout, ignoring her attempts to silence him.

"Sawyer," she repeated, this time in a pleading voice.

"Or when Jacko beat you at the caves? Then it wasn't overboard!" he yelled, he was now red in the face.

Kate breathed in enraged, she had made him promise, he swore. Something clicked inside her and the need to cry was replaced with the need to harm. Her fingernails dug into the palms of her hands as he body began to shake, "I can take getting hurt!" she yelled at him, her voice thunderous but trembling, "I've already experienced this disease first hand. Looking into the eyes of the man I loved as he hurt me intentionally!" Her body now quaked along with her voice that was being to crack.

"You're not the one who can't lie on you're stomach because of an open bite mark, or on your back because of chunks of skin missing, or on your side because fingernails gouged out your skin!" Her legs shook with such force that it caused her to collapse, sending her body crumbling to the ground. Before she broke into a bout of tears she shouted, "So don't come bitching to me about my sleeping habits!"

She moved to cover her face with her hands, but blood dripping down from between her fingers, staining the neutral colored sand. Sawyer took a step forward to help, but a feeble hand clamped down on his arm as hard as it could, "You've done enough," Shannon growled, her eyebrows furrowed, "You go talk to Sayid."

He didn't protest, but his body language spoke for his discomfort. After his leave, Shannon turned and retrieved a roll of bandages and some peroxide. The blue jean shorts that fit her perfectly when the plane crashed were now swimming over her hips and threatening to fall at any moment.

They sat in awkward silence for a moment, the only sound being Kate's whimpers that were dying down, and Sawyer and Sayid arguing down the beach. Shannon hadn't spent much time with her previously, and didn't know how to go about comforting her.

"There's a disease," Kate finally broke the annoying silence, "The French woman, Rousseau told us about it. It destroyed her whole crew, pitted them against each other and drove them crazy. In the end she was the only one who survived."

Shannon bit her lip as Kate turned her hand, showing the bloody mess it had become, "Sayid has it then," she spoke softly as she began to dab at it.

"Jack has it too," Kate replied, "Or had it," Shannon looked up from cleansing the wound and turned to Kate. She looked down and added dismally, "He could be dead."

"I can't picture Jack hurting anyone, never mind you," Shannon commented.

Kate smiled weakly, "It started out as welcome, but it went to far," it was all she was going to tell. She didn't need this spreading around what was left of the camp.

"Well," Shannon began trying to be optimistic, "Wounds heal. I'm sure you can get over it with time," she offered as she wrapped the soft cloth around Kate's palms, "I'm hear to talk if you want to."

"Something's don't fade," Kate replied pessimistically as she looked away, "I tried to forgive him, I gave him another chance and he punched me," she continued, "He battered me, bruised me, beat me on purpose for his own gain. And we didn't use any protection."

Shannon looked away as she began to roll up what was left of the dwindling supplies. It didn't matter though. Within four days of Jack's outbreak, almost ten people in the camp had perished. Some run off into the jungle, wild-eyed and high fevered, while others were victim to the infection.

"Are you infected?" Shannon asked suddenly, breaking Kate's train of thought. She looked over to Shannon whose blue eyes were full of fright, "How do you get it anyways? Because I was thinking if it's sexually transmitted…" she bit her tongue knowing she'd gone too far.

Kate took a deep breath in not wanting to loose her cool once again, "Even though my eruption a few minutes ago was out of character, I don't think I'm lucky enough to have it."

"Lucky enough?" Shannon asked her eyes wide with shock.

"You really want to be around after this whole thing goes to hell? This is just the beginning, and I sure as hell hope I don't make it to the end," She clarified as she stared down at her bandaged hands. She was slowly falling apart.

"I have it," Shannon almost whispered. She looked to Kate with a dismal look surrounding her, "I can feel it in me, but I don't think it's the same as Sayid or Jack or anyone," she began, "It just makes me not eat, I can't eat. I'm hungry, I want to eat, but when I do I just throw up."

"You were eating today," Kate reminded, "I saw you."

"No you saw me drinking. I haven't eaten anything for at least a day. Sayid thinks I have anorexia," she disclosed as she placed the medical supplies back where they belonged.

"I'd hate to interrupt," Sayid spoke from the mouth of the tent, "but we're deciding the fate of Hurley, who openly murdered Jin."

Sun rushed up next to him, Aaron sleeping lightly against her chest, "He said it was in self defense and I believe him," she explained, "He wasn't acting like himself earlier today, he was quick tempered and very violent."

"He was your husband," Sayid reminded, "The way you speak of him, you seem to be siding with Hurley, almost like you wanted to get rid of him," he disclosed.

"Sayid stop," Kate shook her head, "This isn't a witch hunt," announced as she rose to her feet to follow him out of the tent.

"You should be one to talk," he stated, "You're the one instigating it all," Shannon and Sun gasped at the statement, both knowing what had happened to Kate, Shannon by word of mouth, Sun by simple observation, "Think about it, Jack got the disease first and whom did he attack?"

"If you think that killing me will stop this entire thing, then go ahead and do it," she voiced calmly, "I give you full permission."

"Freckles, stop," Sawyer huffed as he approached, shaking his head. Hurley waddled behind him alongside of Locke who was just filled in on the morning's events, "You don't need to egg him on."

"Egg me on?" Sayid scoffed skeptically, "We're here because Hurley killed Jin!" he reminded pointing to the man in question, "We should execute him, send him where he belongs."

"Whoa Dude," Hurley placed his hands up defensively, "believe me no one is more surprised about this then me. He just attacked me, and I fell over. I didn't know he was underneath me, and by the time I found out, he'd swallowed a lot of seawater. I tried to give CPR, but it just didn't work," he explained and by the serious expression on his face showed he spoke the truth.

"You can't expect that-"

"Sayid," Shannon said calmly as she approached him, "It honestly looks like an accident. I'm sure Locke will keep an eye on him." She gestured towards the old man, who gave a firm nod with his head, "Besides I'm getting kind of hungry," she lied through her teeth while looking directly at him, but if throwing up her meal meant sparing Hurley's life for the time being, then she'd sacrifice it.

He gave her a warm smile and slid his arm around her waist, Kate could see the love he still held for her in his eyes, and it almost made her grin, "Alright," he seemed to snap back into his natural behavior, "Let's go get something to eat."

The shriveling group of people left watched as they walked away, staring in awe at the sudden mood swing. "Man, at least she can control him," Hurley gulped as he scratched the back of his neck anxiously.

"She's not going to be around forever," Kate stated doleful, as she turned on her heels glancing at Sun and Aaron. Sawyer and Hurley stared in surprise at her remark.

"I made a drink for him," Sun announced with a small smile, "It's out of a few herbs around here that will give him a few of the nutrients he needs. He seems to like it."

Kate smiled as she gripped the baby boy's hand, "Do you think you can watch him?" she asked, her voice loosing its luster.

"Of course," Sun agreed, "I'll give him to you later."

"Whenever you need a break," Kate suggested. With that she turned and began to walk toward her tent.

"Where the hell are you goin'?" Sawyer yelled as he ran after her catching her by the arm.

"I'm going to sleep," she answered as she ripped her arm away from him and marched back into her tent.

"No you're not," he told her as he followed her into the tent, "You're not going to keep on doing this Freckles," he told her, "Not while I'm around."

"Well that would really mean something to me if in a few months I didn't think we'd all be buried six feet under," she replied as she turned away from him again.

He reached over harshly and whipped her back around to face him, his hands clamped around her biceps so hard, she couldn't wrench herself away, "Listen to me Kate," he told her in a low serious tone. His blue eyes were burning into hers, making her wiggle uncomfortably in his hold, "You can't give up. Because you're the one who's the strongest now. You've gotta help take care of the baby, and keep everything from falling apart."

"They don't need me," she told him, her eyes growing glassy again. It was becoming far too tedious to keep crying.

"Why do you think Barbie wanted to take care of you?" he questioned, "Everyone wants to make sure you're okay, because they know that when the time comes you'll know what to do."

"But I don't know," she declared as tears once again burned her face. He let go of her arms and she almost fell to the floor, weak physically and exhausted emotionally. To his surprised she reached out for him, sliding her arms around his neck as she cried into his chest. The strong, burning scent of cigarettes entered her lungs but she ignored it.

He wrapped his eyes around her, gently rubbing her back, "Can I tell you something?" she asked him, her face still hidden away in his shirt, "And you won't hold it against me, or make fun of me for it?"

"No," he replied simply as she pulled away from him, her cheeks red with false blood once again. He pushed her hair behind her ear and softly rubbed the drying tears from her face.

"I'm scared," she divulged, "I'm terrified about what might happen to anyone, seeing people like Shannon deteriorate in front of me, that I'm going to be left alone here."

"I'm going to tell you something," he told her as he tilted her chin up so she could see the truth as he spoke it, "I'm not going to let that happen to you, I promise," he pledged to her.

"Sawyer you can't promise things you can't control," she sniffed shaking her head desolately.

"As long as you're here, I'll be here," he repeated, "No damn disease is gonna bump me off."

"He's going to come back Sawyer," Kate announced as she let her arms drop from around him. She moved and sat down on the ramshackle bed she'd made from airplane seats, "He's going to think he's better and he's going to come back again."

Sawyer watched her closely, the way her body tensed even as she thought of Jack, "You're afraid of him, ain't ya?" he asked as he crouched down in front of her.

"If he did to you what he did to me, wouldn't you be afraid of him too?" she queried quietly as she looked to her bandaged hands again.

"I think I'd be a lil' more then afraid, Freckles," he chuckled, as he fell into place next to her, "besides I don't think I'm his type." Kate cracked a small smile through her dismal expression, "Don't think I didn't see that," he told her.

Her grin widened as she let out a tiny giggle, "You won't have to worry about him anyways, when he comes back he's going to come to me first," she stated.

"When he does come back, I'm gonna be waitin' for him," Sawyer told her, "I won't let him hurt you again."

"Oh and how do you expect to stop him?" she posed, "We have no weapons."

"We could always go to the case and try and work on openin' it again," He suggested. His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to think of ways to defend himself."

"Except that Jack has the key around his neck, and don't you think that's the first place he would've gone?" She reminded as she lied back on the cushions.

Sawyer sighed, he was obviously going to loose this battle, "You want me to go?" he queried as he draped his hands casually over his knees, "So you can get your beauty sleep?"

"I don't want my beauty sleep, I just want to relax," she declared, "Sleeping as nothing to do with it," she emphasized as she placed her hands nonchalantly over her stomach, "And no I don't want you to go."

"Oh," Sawyer commented with a smug grin, "And why is that?" he asked as she leaned back so he lay parallel beside her, his hands propping up his head.

She closed her eyes tightly, and sighed. After a moment of contemplating whether or not to tell him the truth, she turned over on her side with a wince, "Believe it or not, you make me feel safe," she divulged with a nervous smile.

He chuckled as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her closer to him. She hesitated for a second but then leaned her head against his chest, "I still got it," he stated with a smug smirk. Kate punched him in the arm, "Don't be a jerk," she stated as she adjusted herself next to him.

"Well damn Freckles," He stated, "A man's got a right to be proud."

**

* * *

Orlando-Crazy  
**_I probably wouldn't hate to be there, it would probably be a justification to my violent behavior…_

**Freckles-101**  
_Everyone and Sawyer. Jeez, the only reason I wrote this as a somewhat Sawyer/Kate story is because I was becoming tired of the fluff. Always with the fluff. And no one does dark, and with Lost, it has so much potential :(_

**Whirlwind-2005**  
_LOL you've got something against Jack, dontcha? He didn't know what he was doing, just like Sayid in this chapter when he just snapped back into reality after going off on a crazy fit. You got three out of four of the immunies right, and zero out of two with the less lethal branch of it. Shannon is one of them. By less lethal I mean they were not a danger to other's but to themselves. _

**October Sky**  
_You people and your precious Sawyer, I won't harm a golden hair on his head for now I promise. And you will get your Jack/Sawyer fight, believe me you'll get it and you'll be knocked on your ass by the outcome…_

**Lostobsessivefreak**  
_S'up, long time no talkie;) Lol nothing big between Sawyer and Kate is going to happen or I think I would loose the will to live. And the story now has an extra chapter in it, otherwise it'd be too long. So you can hold your breath, because it's gonna be even longer. _

**CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88  
**_I know you must hate me, I totally haven't been on MSN. I've either been playing Sims, or my friggin' MSN didn't work. Because the bell people around here are all on strike and are all like "Turn off the internet!" and I'm all like "Nooooo!" But needless to say, they've been totally haphazard with the internet coming on and off. So I really haven't tried to ditch you or the story. Hope to talk to you soon…And I hope you're not too to'ed…_

_**Next Chapter**- I know I've said this like twenty million times, but I mean it this time, at least three if not more people will die in the next chapter, and TIMEWARP, it's two months in the future… But I have no clue when it will be up, since I'm babysitting not one, or two, or four, but FIVE count 'em, FIVE kids under the age of nine. Lol I have no idea what I've gotten myself into, but it's nice to hang with a crowd who shares the same intelligence level with me;) _


	6. The Truth Can't Save You Now

_Hey guys, long time no update. I kinda got stuck on this, but I muddled my way through. It gets kinda crappy at the end, but I promise the next chapter will be kick ass. There's probably gonna be about 2 or 3 more chapters (Preferable on my part 2 because I gotta get my ass in gear on the Detour chapter I'm supposed to have done (whistles innocently))  
Second is I will implore you to not read this chapter if you hate all things rated M. Because it gets pretty nasty because I'm an evil Canadian. So watch out y'all it's bad.  
Lastly this chapter was inspired by a song by **The Dresden Dolls **called "Sex Changes" and though it may sound like an operation (ouch) it's about an abortion and how sex changes (In my humble opinion). It's a really good song and perfect for inspiration. So yeah, I had to give props (listen to me) _

The Sickness

Chapter 6

The Truth Can't Save You Now

"Today's a very special day,  
the boys'll murder for it but what will the neighbors say?  
It leaves you feeling sort of hollow,  
it might be nice to look at – don't forget you're stuck with it tomorrow (and tomorrow, and tomorrow...)"  
- "Sex Changes" by The Dresden Dolls

"You're big enough to stop pretending,  
you'll start to really show within a week or so!  
So dont go saying its just come to your attention,  
you'll get more than youre asking for without the right connections!"  
- "Sex Changes" by The Dresden Dolls

* * *

"Why the hell won't he shut up?" Sawyer muttered from where he lay propped up in one of the airplane's chairs. It was a perfect day; the sun was burning in the sky, making the ocean glimmer with its reflection. The waves lapped lazily to the shore and the wind blew refreshingly through Sawyer's tent. 

"Damn thing's been crying for over an hour," he elaborated as he pushed down his sunglasses and sent a pitiful attempt at a glare Kate's way, then turned and went back to sunbathing topless.

"I don't know," Kate replied honestly as she bounced the two-month-old on her knee gently, "I don't have prior experience in this area remember, I know about as much as you."

"You've gotta know more then me, Freckles. I mean babies come out of your kind, so you've gotta have a second nature to it," he stated as he turned to her, watching the single strand of hair break free of her ponytail and travel across her face in the relaxing wind.

"My kind," she rolled her eyes, "Women aren't from another planet Sawyer," she announced as she pulled up the loose strap of her tank top that kept falling down.

"That's not what that famous book says," he reminded as he ran a hand though his hair.

"Maybe he misses Claire," Kate suggested, hurriedly changing the subject as she rummaged through a tote bag that all of Aaron's belongings had been placed in, and pulled out a bottle of the liquid she and Sun made for him.

"She died two months ago," Sawyer stated, "He was barely a week old, he doesn't remember her."

"Didn't you cry after your mom was gone?" Kate questioned. Sawyer sat up and sent her a full glare, "I mean I did," she replied as she shrugged off her angry action.

"Your mom's dead too?" He questioned as he slouched back into his chair.

Kate shook her head, "Yep, cancer," she answered as she tried to place the bottle into Aaron's mouth but he wouldn't accept it. Sawyer stared at her and she quickly terminated the subject, knowing that neither one of them wanted to develop it further, "Maybe he wants Sun?" She questioned.

"Remember a few months ago when all you did was sleep?" He queried suddenly.

"Yeah," she replied as she stood from the seat beside him and paced back and forth in the sand comforting Aaron.

"Well now you've gone to the other damn extreme, relax a little," he announced, "The kid's not gonna explode if you set him down for a moment."

"No one else is going to take care of him; Sun's wore herself down caring for him while I recovered, and now it's my turn," she declared, then suddenly Aaron fell fast asleep.

"Maybe he just needed some reassurance," Sawyer stated sarcastically as Kate placed the baby into his crib.

"Sometimes we all need reassurance," Kate commented as she flopped onto the chair beside him once again, "Isn't your tan dark enough?"

"You're one to talk, you're still as pasty as the day the plane crashed," he stated as he pointed to her arms, which were still fair in color, "How in the hell do you manage that?"

"Magic," Kate answered as she stifled a yawn. She curled up in the seat so her head was resting lightly against Sawyer's shoulder.

"You actually takin' my advice?" he questioned with an arched eyebrow.

"I would if you'd shut up," she mumbled.

He chuckled and leaned back in the chair taking in the sun at its fullest.

Two months had passed since Jack first attacked Kate at the cave. Most of the plane crash survivors had perished, leaving only a select few left. Kate and Sun took care of Aaron consecutively switching him off when the other needed a break. Hurley fished while Locke brought back boar meat and fruit from the jungle, since Sayid had forbidden anyone from entering it, Michael was the last and he had never returned.

Shannon had made a comeback, and was actually eating meals, though they were smaller portioned then everyone else's, and this seemed to keep Sayid from any irregular or violent behavior. As long as Shannon was well, he seemed to be able to fend off the disease easily.

Sawyer usually lolled about all day, sitting in the sun reading a book or the odd time like today, he'd fine Kate and pester her while she did her chores of the day. But he was also responsible for firewood and water. He was one of the select few people who were still allowed in the jungle.

"Guys?" a weak voice came, rousing them from their afternoon catnap. The voice sounded shaken and scared, almost queasy.

Kate slid her eyes open and say Shannon standing in front of the sun, its rays lining her body, "What's wrong?" she asked immediately as she sat in the chair. Sawyer grumbled something, but slid down his glasses to give his attention to Shannon.

"Have you seen Sayid?" she questioned weakly.

"Are you okay?" Kate questioned, she could see her fingers trembling as her body swayed in the light breeze that floated over the beach.

"I," she paused, as she wobbled awkwardly on her feet, "I think I need to sit down."

Kate was surprised to see Sawyer rise from his spot so quickly to give it to Shannon, who almost melted as soon as she hit the seat, "I thought I was doing better," she choked out, "But I was wrong."

"Shannon, you are doing better," Kate told her gently, "You've been helping out around camp and with Aaron."

"I just threw up okay," She stated harshly, "It looked like everything I've eaten in the last three days. I'm shaking, I'm weak. I'm dying okay," she added bluntly.

"You aren't dying," Kate answered almost immediately, "No one has died in a week, we're all going to make it through okay."

"And how exactly am I supposed to do that, when I can't eat anything?" she asked bitterly, "I knew I had it from the beginning, I should've just done something about it then."

"Sawyer, go find Sun and Sayid," she demanded, "Tell them that Shannon is sick."

"Kate, no. He doesn't need to find out, it'll just make him angry," Shannon announced.

"We're going to need his help if the plan I have is going to work," she replied calmly. Sawyer stared at her for a second, trying to fathom what she was thinking, "Just do what I ask for once and don't ask questions okay?"

He huffed angrily, but raced across the beach, trying to find Sun and Sayid.

"He's getting worse too you know," Shannon stated, as she placed a hand over her stomach as a rumble of hunger gurgled through it.

"Who?" Kate questioned as she walked into Sawyer's tent to retrieve a bottle of water.

"Sayid," she informed as she took the bottle and sipped it slowly. This hadn't been the first time in the last two months she'd come to Kate worried about her condition. Each time Kate would comfort her gently and guide her through what to do, usually starting with her taking small sips of water.

"He's getting more violent, and he can't stand Hurley. I don't know why, maybe he's still angry about the whole 'Jin death' thing, but he won't even let me talk to Hurley," she explained, "I always thought I'd be the dominant one."

"Has he hurt you at all? Threatened or anything?" Kate questioned as she took the seat next to her.

"No, but I've heard him talk about what he wants to do to Hurley, and it's not that nice," she wheezed out through labored breathes. The last thing they needed right now was for Shannon to have an asthma attack, "And there's something off about you too," Shannon stated.

"Me?" Kate questioned quizzically, "There's nothing off about me."

"Yeah, there is," Shannon responded bluntly, "I don't know if you're infected or what, but you're obsessed with Aaron. Always taking care of him, even when he's fine on his own. You don't eat much and I hardly ever see you sleep."

"Maybe I sleep when you sleep," Kate muttered as she got up from the deteriorating airline seats and began to pace back and forth in the sand waiting for Sawyer's return.

"Look at you, you're anxious. If you rub your hands together any more they're going to turn raw," she informed coldly as her blue eyes scanned Kate's uneasy position.

Kate sighed with irritation and threw her hands to her side, "I'm not infected, okay?" she spoke sternly, her eyebrows knitted in aggravation.

"Look I don't know why it's such a big secret, but if you want one for one I'm all up for it," Shannon offered.

"Shannon…" Kate began but she interrupted her.

"I'm terrified of dying," she divulged, "I'm scared shitless when I look down and see my ribs and the fact that soon I'll be able to see my heartbeat. This isn't when or how I wanted to die. It's not death it's torture," her voice went quiet as tears gathered in her misted eyes.

"Shannon, I can't tell you," Kate stated as she turned back to look at her friend, "I can't let the others find out."

"What could possibly be worse then what I'm going through?" she shouted through tears feeling betrayed

"Look I didn't ask you to tell me Shannon," Kate reminded feeling horrible.

"What's so secret that you can't let the others find out about?" she pestered.

"I'm pregnant, okay?" Kate yelled as she turned around, staring at the girl who guilted her into telling her secret.

Shannon sniffed and wiped the tears from her eyes, "You might want to turn around," she muttered.

With a skeptically glance, Kate slowly turned around to find Sayid, Sawyer, Sun and Hurley gawking at her like she was an act at a freakshow.

"Dude," Hurley uttered as his eyes traveled mechanically to her stomach. Sun sent her a small smile, but let her gaze fall appropriately onto the sand.

"I knew it was a lie," Sayid growled angrily as he stepped towards Kate, "If you'd have told us about you and Jack, we could've found Jack and killed him before this disease had a chance of spreading."

"It would've spread anyways," Kate murmured as she turned around, but Sayid harshly grabbed her by the forearm and turned her back to him. Sawyer immediately rushed towards them, "Leave her alone," he stated sternly, his eyes haunted.

"You are the soul reason everyone has died, the reason Aaron has no mother, the reason Sun has no husband, the reason Shannon is deteriorating in from of my eyes," he shouted infuriated as his grip on Kate's arm grew stronger.

"Let me go," she demanded through clenched teeth.

"Sayid," Shannon shouted from behind her, "Let's go for a walk or something," she disclosed as her hand fell weakly over her introverted stomach. Instantaneously his hand was off Kate's arm and he was standing besides Shannon, brushing her hair back and asking her where she wanted to go and if she was hungry.

"Sun," Kate called as she rubbed the red marks on her arm where Sayid's fingers dug in, "I was thinking that if that stuff you give Aaron has an anti-nauseate in it, you could mix up a batch for Shannon and maybe she could keep some food down."

"I'll have to go pick up a lot of the ingredients," Sun explained quietly, "I don't think Sayid will let me go out there alone."

"I'll go with you then," Hurley volunteered, "I mean there are no good fishing spots at this time and I've got nothing to do anyways."

"Alright," Sun nodded her head with a smile, "Will be back in fifteen minutes."

Kate nodded in agreement and turned into her tent to check on Aaron. He was sleeping soundlessly. She couldn't help but muster a small smile and didn't notice when she absentmindedly rubbed her arm.

"How long have you known?" a serious voice asked from behind her.

Turning around her eyes met with Sawyer's as he leaned in the entrance, "About five weeks," she informed as she looked away quickly knowing he was going to get upset, "I didn't say anything. We needed as many people doing as much for the camp as they could."

"Jesus Freckles," He muttered angrily as he ran a hand over his weary eyes. Neither of the spoke for several moments, both listening to Sayid talk to Shannon gently a few feet away. "You gonna keep it?" he questioned finally, drawing the gall to ask.

"Are you serious?" she asked. When he gave her a look that told her he wanted a straight answer, she scoffed, "No, Sawyer, I'm going to go find a staircase to fling myself down."

"You're not takin' this seriously Freckles," he commented as he took a step towards her, "The runt's gonna depend on you."

"Aaron already depends on me," Kate replied as she began to tidy up what she could around her tent, anything to get away from Sawyer's pestering questions.

"And you think you can juggle both o'them and get fruit and…"

"Do you want me to kill it?" Kate finally shouted in an outburst, "You think that the virus won't get it? Or The Others? Or it won't die some other way?"

"I'm just worried for ya, okay?" Sawyer answered, throwing his hands up.

"Yeah, well I'm worried about it," She divulged as she placed a hand over her abdomen, "So if you care about me, you'll respect that I'm going to have this baby."

"You still love him, don't you?" Sawyer questioned furiously, "After all he's done to you, you still love the bastard."

"That's what it's about isn't it?" Kate stopped folding clothes, "You can't come to grips that it's Jack's baby."

"He beat the shit outta you Freckles, or have you forgotten?" he reminded coldly, "You came to me looking like hell. The sight of you," he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "It scared me okay?"

"Sawyer," Kate sighed as she walked towards him.

"Every time you look at that kid, you're gonna remember what he did to you, and you're gonna hate it," he stated.

"No," she shook her head immediately, "I'll look at it, and remember what a good person Jack was."

"And one day it's gonna ask you about it's Daddy, and what are you gonna say?" he posed.

"I'll deal with it when it happens," she answered nervously as she tucked a curl behind her ear.

"Kate!" Shannon yelled from outside weakly. Sawyer and Kate rushed out of the tent towards where they left Shannon sitting in the chair, "Sayid went after them," she sobbed, "he's going to kill them you have to stop him."

Sawyer looked to Kate then back to Shannon, "What are you waiting for, this is the chance he's wanted. You have to stop him," she explained as she pointed off to the direction he ran in.

Kate glanced towards the jungle. Locke was out there somewhere, maybe he'd already gotten to them. She took a step towards where Shannon had indicated, but felt her arm gripped and her body wrenched back, "You ain't setting a foot near that jungle," Sawyer told her.

"Sawyer, you can't go in there by yourself," she reminded.

"Oh but Muhammad said I could," Sawyer reminded as he strapped his backpack on quickly. He shot up and started to sprint across the sand, the wind was blowing in his ears as he kicked grains of the terrain everywhere.

"Sawyer!" Kate yelled as she chased him across the beach.

He stopped just before setting a foot into the jungle. She slowed to a jog as she neared him. She was glowing, he saw it now, the way her skin shone in the sunlight, the way her hair blew across her face.

He took a quick glance at her stomach, and was reminded that she was Jack's, she always would be Jack's even after he was dead. He's marked her, not only by the marks he'd left on her skin, but the life he'd left inside of her.

"Freckles, you want the kid," he muttered indifferently as he turned away from her, "You stay on the beach."

He marched into the jungle, feeling the sadness in her eyes as she watched him disappear. Her eyes clouded over with tears that she refused to shed. She slowly walked back to Shannon and flopped sadly into the chair beside her.

"Just kiss him already," she muttered as she crossed her bony arms over her chest and watched the sun.

"You wouldn't understand," Kate sniveled as she stared into the horizon along with Shannon.

"I don't care about you explaining all these different reasons why you don't want or can't kiss him," She began, "Just do it for God's sake, you're disrupting the way the camp works."

"Jack's baby is inside of me right now, Shannon," Kate announced bluntly.

"So? Jack's either dead somewhere or still running around crazy, he's not coming back Kate. I'm not going to be here forever, Sayid's probably killed Sun and Hurley. Who else is going to help you raise the kid?"

"I can do it on my own," she stated stubbornly, "I don't need anyone's help."

"Really, so you're going to raise two kids, collect firewood, catch fish, hunt boar, collect fruit, get water, and avoid being killed by the others, or Jack, or any other Crazies that have run into the woods of death," Shannon informed, "You won't even go into the jungle now."

"Sawyer told me not to," Kate disclosed.

"So if you don't care about him, why do you care what he thinks or says?" Shannon pointed out with a smirk playing on her face. She leaned over and pulled up two large water bottles, "We're almost out of water."

Kate stared at her for a moment, shocked at how she was acting. The glare she held Kate's eyes with was challenging, "Fine."

She tore the bottles from Shannon's hand and started down the unkempt path to the caves.

* * *

A shiver traveled up her spine as she entered the wreckage that had become the cave. A few days after Jack was infected, almost five other people living at the caves had several fits of violence, destroying all the equipment the survivors had made over time. She could still remember walking the path to see Jack from the beach; Charlie and Claire laughing together as Hurley told another joke. 

Now there was just the silent trickling of the waterfall as Kate shuffled through the mossy earth. Objects were strewn around everywhere, and pools of dried blood stained the ground.

She bent down swiftly and began filling the bottles, wanting to get away from the caves as fast as possible. Every single aspect about it was haunting, the medical cavern where Boone lost his life, the burial cavern where she and Jack had stumbled upon the dead bodies.

Something moved speedily out of the corner of her eye and she was on her feet immediately. Her eyes scanned the area and saw something move into one of the caves, not just any cave- Jack's cave.

Putting the bottles down on the ground, Kate swallowed the acrid lump that rose in her throat as she took a few steps in the direction of his cave. She slowly moved her hand to her belt, laying it protectively over the knife Locke had given her as she cautiously crept into the cave.

The first visible rocks upon entering shimmered in the weak light that fluttered through the canopy. A dark maroon-crimson color and Kate almost vomited when she realized what was causing this effect. The blood from her back, from more then two months ago at the caves had dried against the jagged rocks, like a memorial to what had occurred that night.

"It looks beautiful, doesn't it?" a voice asked from the opposite corner.

Her heart sunk as she whipped around, moving back involuntarily as she gripped the handle of the knife.

Sayid slowly crept out of the corner, wiping off his arms, which were drenched in blood. His shirt, his pants, even his hair and face were permeated with blood. It was dripping down his face like sweat would.

"What happened?" Kate managed to utter softly as he rang out the sleeves of his shirt. Pools of blood splashed to the cave's floor.

"I found a boar while going to aid Hurley and Sun," he explained calmly, "I figured since Locke hasn't returned yet today, that it'd be good to bring back to the beach."

Kate began to back up as he took steps towards her, "Then where is it?" she questioned masquerading the fear in her voice as best as she could.

"At the beach," Sayid stated as he ran a hand through his curly hair, shaking it of blood, and began to take more steps forward.

"Then why are you here?" Kate questioned as her back hit the wall once again. She jerked from the sudden contact and Sayid let out a chuckle, "I had to get cleaned up, I'm a bit of a mess."

"Oh," Kate relaxed an iota, but her hand still lingered near by the handle of the knife. Sayid was only a foot away and the closeness was making her antsy.

"But I saw something shimmer on the wall in here, and came in to investigate," he announced pointing to the wall, "It's beautiful."

"It's my blood," she stated bluntly and with disgust.

"I know," He replied with an evil smirk.

Her hand gripped the knife and pulled it out quickly, "I don't want to hurt you Sayid," she attempted to scare him, though her voice sounded more like a plea.

"Oh?" He questioned, the shot out his hand quickly, gripping her wrist tightly and wrenching the knife from her hand, "That's where we differ," his voice had taken a horrible tone.

Kate balled her fist and set it flying awry at him, but he dodged it expertly and tossed the knife to outside the cave, "Fifteen years in the Republican Guard, Kate versus the ten odd years you've been breaking the law?"

His hand shot out and wrestled with her until both her hands were clamped tightly within one of his. He slammed her back against the wall and pressed his hips into hers to keep her from attacking him with her legs, "What do you want?" Kate asked disgustedly as she wriggled in his griped, trying to break free.

"I understand what Jack saw in you now," he revealed, as his hand ran through her hair.

"Sayid, no," she begged him, her eyes glassing over. She couldn't let this happen again. Before, with Jack, she could've stopped it, but Sayid was too strong, she couldn't break her hands free and if she moved her legs, she'd just give him an advantage. Her mind wandered for a way to reason with him, "What about Shannon," she reminded quietly.

"Shannon is as good as dead," he explained truthfully as he stared at her, "But you, you're very much alive," his voice drifted, "Your eyes, you're lips," he mumbled as he ran a finger over her bottom lip, "Your heart," he chuckled almost sinisterly as he slipped a hand down her tank top.

Her knee came up in an attempt to hurt him, but he sensed her movement seconds before she had a chance to make it. His fist flew at her, hitting her on the opposite cheek then Jack had. The blow sent her back and her legs gave out from underneath her.

Her body crumpled but he caught it, and before she could pull herself out of the pain she was feeling and back into the drastic situation, his mouth was covering hers. The kiss was urgent and seemed to suck all the air out of her lungs.

She writhed under his body, which only annoyed him. He pulled away from her as she gasped for breath and he shot another fist at her face again, almost hitting the same target. Her back hit the cave a wall again as her head swam and her eyes became unfocused.

The shirt her wore was torn off by his greedy hands, which roamed over her chest until he came upon all the scars that had been left by Jack, "He was very smart," Sayid commented. "Maiming you, almost leaving his signature on you," he paused for a moment before sliding his hand over her stomach, "In more ways then one."

Her eyes dizzied, as the cave seemed to spin before her. She could barely grasp what was happening. "It will be a challenge to outdo him," he informed, but then an eerie, sinister smile crept to his lips, "But it will be fun to try."

As his lips clamped over hers, she closed her eyes; tears streaked her face when suddenly she was dropped to the ground. A wince of pain escaped her as she held her head. She lay face down for a moment, listening to the sounds of a struggle echo in the cave, punches being thrown and grunts of pain.

Finally, after her eyes cleared and her head stopped wavering. She chanced a swift glance up, and saw Sawyer punch Sayid a final time, knocking the man out cold.

Her chest heaved in and out hurriedly as she realized it could've happened again, she would've been defenseless against Sayid. A hand fell to her stomach as she tried to control her haywire gasping.

Sawyer looked up to her angrily, "I told you to stay on the Goddamn beach!" he yelled irately, his face was flushed and his fists were clenched as he approached her, "I told you it wasn't fucking safe out here! But no, you had to be The Mighty Huntress and explore the jungle on your own when there's a dozen whackjobs wandering around waiting to kill someone and you give off Goddamn pheromones!" His voice was loud, echoing even louder, "If I hadn't fucking come along when I did," he paused and huffed angrily. "You'd be in the same Goddamn position! Don't you ever fucking learn?"

He glared at her demanding an answer. She couldn't handle it. Any of it, not now, she couldn't talk to him or anyone right now. She was stuck and she couldn't get off this hellhole island, but that didn't mean she couldn't run.

Swiftly she pushed herself to her feet and tore off towards the jungle, Sawyer yelling at her angrily the whole way. Her feet traveled over the thick roots and underbrush of the island as she panted to get away from him, from all of this

When she finally thought she'd lost him, her foot slipped out from underneath her and she came tumbling down onto her face, landing in a puddle of something. She shook her head and pushed herself painfully off the ground.

Glancing up her heart froze; blood and various body parts lined the trees. It looked like it had when Arzt had exploded, only this time she knew that it wasn't Arzt, it was Sun and Hurley, and they hadn't exploded, they'd been ripped apart by Sayid.

Finally looking down she let out a scream, and stood up quickly. She had fallen in a puddle of blood. It stained her face and her bra a dark maroon color and suddenly she didn't want to be out here alone.

"Jesus Freckles, I told you not to run this way," Sawyer muttered as he approached her cautiously, "You're not gonna bolt on me again?"

She turned and stared at him, which is when he noticed the blood, "Shit," he mumbled as he took off his backpack and pulled out a water bottle and a rag, "Come here." Her feet didn't move, "Son of a…Have I hurt you yet?" he questioned as he soaked the rag.

"No…" she answered softly.

"Then why the hell would I start now?" his voice was softer then she'd expected and hesitantly she walked towards him. He pulled her away from the carnage, into a small clearing lined by tall trees and began to wipe the blood away from her face and shoulders.

"Running through the damn jungle, beaten half to death, topless and two-months packing. Do you just like settin' records or does it happen by accident," he queried as he handed her the cloth to wipe off her chest with.

"This isn't funny Sawyer," she commented. Her voice was calm, but serious, "If you hadn't come along…"

"But I did, didn't I? I told you Freckles, I don't break a promise once I make one," he informed as he handed her a shirt, which he had pulled of his backpack, "Just sit here a few minutes okay? I got Locke to take care of Sayid, you need a breather."

The shirt he gave her came down past her waist and she played mindlessly with the bottom of it as she sat down beside him, "You got another hell of a shiner," he commented as he ran his thumb lightly over her bruised cheek, "Hurt much?"

"Not really," she replied as she placed her hands over her stomach. They sat in silence for a few moments before she spoke again, "Sawyer?" she questioned quietly.

"Yeah?" he asked as he pulled out a cigarette and glanced at her, then her stomach and with a groan, put it back in the pack.

"Will you help me raise it?" she questioned softly as the material of his shirt twisted around her fingers.

"Help you raise what?" he asked with a confused look on his face.

"The baby?" she clarified, her voice still indifferent and unnaturally calm.

"You want me to help you raise Dr. Psycho's baby?" he posed skeptically.

"Well, you promised that you'd always be here for me, and I figured if you're going to hang around that long, I might as well make you useful," she explained as she gave him a nudge, "Besides, then maybe the 'Daddy' talk won't be so hard."

"I didn't think anywhere in my novel of "Things To Do On An Island" there would be a chapter about raising a kid with Freckles," he explained.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," she offered.

"Nah," he told her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pushed back her hair gently when she leaned against him, "Sounds like an opportunity to me."

_

* * *

There you have it, fluff then against, then almost rape, then angst then anger then fluff again. I like to call it….THE RECIPE TO SUCCESS! _

_  
PS I know you're all crapping you pants because I stuck with my Shiggity code of honor and made her pregnant again! Ha!  
_

_Lol it's way to late for me to be doing this. It's like 5:30am, and I haven't slept since last night. So whoohoo for late nights and watching the Canadian sun rise over the deadly swamp gas of my town (OMG THE FOG!) Anyways on with crazy insomniac Shiggity review answers! _

**Lostobsessivefreak  
**_Lol I hope this was enough deaths for you, there was two and they got they're body parts thrown around like streamers. And next chapter is even better. Three by my count, including how to kill Sayid. I'm open to any ideas, I was thinking jazzercise until he dies of overexertion. And four out of five were girls, and the little boy was so cute. He feel sleep whilst we watched the Incredibles. _

**Orlando-Crazy  
**_Thank you! _

**October Sky  
**_He's not gonna kill Jack. Pfft Jack's gonna kill him I mean come on, would I have the character I hate kill the character I love the most (I mean that already happened with Ethan (though I don't hate Charlie) But you get what I mean, it'd be all crack on cocaine._

**Freckles-101  
**_Lol I grew up on Stephen King, he was my nursery rhymes. Which is sad because my family is so mind screwed, but hey, I'm not complaining, it (sadly) makes for good entertainment. I'm really excited for writing the next chapter and especially the last chapter, the only thing that could make it better would be an appearance by Ethan. _

**Whirlwind-2005  
**_Lol to clear this up (I'm putting it in bold so hopefully when people scroll down to review (AHEM) they'll see it. _**Hurley, Sun, Sawyer, and Kate are immune! **Well now only Sawyer and Kate, but you get what I mean, and **Aaron and Shannon do have the alternate strand**_, which is basically natural anorexia/bulimia. You saw some of it in Aaron during this chapter (only a wee bit)  
Shannon's got it far-shure (it's late/early I get to be stupid) and Jack is going to make one final, sexy appearance, that has drastic effects on everything._

**FanOfLost**  
_I. Hate. Skater. I hate it with a passion. So much. So very. Very. VERY MUCH!  
Ethan: Stab Stab Skater.  
But you see, this is how it goes. In every, single, freaking, story I have Jack and Kate end up making it, and it's always nice and fluffy with rainbows and kittens and mountain streams with pretty fishes and unicorns and lollipops and gumdrops and etc. And I got so sick and tired of writing it, it was just repetitive, so I said to myself, I said, 'Shiggity, what it the exact opposite of what you've been doing?" and I answered, "Something filled with arsenic and spiky rocks, and knives, and smog, and acid rain, and drive by shootings and gansta rap, and ninja death stars sharpened by the tusks of an elephant killed for ivory and I'm sure you get the point." And of course something with Sawyer/Kate which is acting as a diet drug for me because I wanna vomit every time I have to write about them (believe me there's this one scene, ACH!) Just like the Sayid/Kate scene, that was hell. I swear to God I'm gonna need like 7 extra years of therapy for this.  
And for your Jack/Kate (I hate the Jate thing, it sounds like a Goth person's name (Not that I have anything against the Goth people (Hell I used to be one) dying thing, I dunno think to yourself would I really kill them? And then think about what I said above about wanting to do that exact opposite of what I had been, but then think about how much I love them, and now I know you're confused. _

**Next Chapter- **The time has come to speak of many things, of Jack and Kings and Queens, and GUILLOTINES! HA! I get to kill some more because Hockey doesn't start for awhile and I have to have some channel of violence to vent my pent up, pure, raw, organic rage, and origami just isn't doing it anymore. So Stabbity Stab to characters and off to the butcher's shop they go.


	7. The Tiniest Coffin

_Hey guys, I updated quickly because one night I wrote mostly this whole chapter. I've got to warn you again, it's and M for many different reasons, graphic images for one thing, so skip over it if this isn't your pie and coffee.  
And I know FOR SURE that I'm getting hate mail on this one, and I'd like to say, bring it on. Hatemail is the highest form of flattery a person can receive. If someone hates your writing enough to actually take time to tell you everything that's wrong with it, they've gotta care about you write? And besides, I know I'll at least get one from CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88, because she knows what's going to happen already (the power of M S N Messenger) Soo… _

**This chapter is dedicated to CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 (I'm not gonna use your real name because I don't know if you want me to or not) Anyways, Because I know your deep dark secret! Muh ha ha ha ha ha ha**

The Sickness 

Chapter 7

The Tiniest Coffin

"The time has come,  
to take me in your arms and touch these fragile scars."

- "The Time Has Come" by The Dresden Dolls

"Everything they ever told us,  
shakes our faith and breaks their promise.  
But you can stop the truth from leaking  
if you never stop believing..."  
– "Mrs. O" by The Dresden Dolls

"My own private highway from the cradle to the grave,  
I save a bundle skipping middle age and Saturdays."  
– "The Bank of Boston Beauty Queen" by The Dresden Dolls

* * *

She looked bad. That was an understatement, she looked horrible. Her collarbone jutted out from her skin about where her tank top hung off her weakly. Her arms and legs were useless, she hadn't moved them on her own in over a day, and Kate was silently relieved for that. Every time she did move them, she looked like some sort of morbid marionette, her actions irrational and clumsy.

Her shirt sunk over her stomach that was so inverted, each separate rib in her chest could be seen. The blonde hair atop her head had become greatly thinner, falling out in clumps randomly. During the day she had to stay in the medical tent, she had no immunity to the harsh and drastic changes in the weather. The sun would make her sweat bullets and the night would make her convulse in shivers.

The beautifully tanned color had long since escaped her, and was now replaced with a disgusting shade of gray. Her arms, legs, face covered in bruises from her body's weaken state.

Shannon hadn't eaten in two weeks, refusing to, though on days when Kate begged her with tears in her eyes, she could see the contemplation cover Shannon's face. She had begged them to end it for her, for one of them to perform a mercy killing on her, but neither seemed to have the gall to follow through with it. The only one who could would've been Locke, but now, even he was gone.

He had left out of his own free will after slitting Sayid's throat. He explained that he could feel the disease within him, coursing through his veins, trying to change his disposition and making him commit acts he would regret. He handed over all his knives in fear of coming back to harm the remains of the camp and walked off into the jungle with only a bottle of water. That had been two weeks ago.

Sayid had been buried on the beach; Sawyer refused to let anyone go out into the jungle, in reality he would've lied if he said he wasn't frightened every time he made the fifteen-minute trip to fill up the water bottle. He ran all the way there, memorizing the path after a few days, got the water, and ran back, glancing over his shoulder every few feet just to make sure he was alone.

Kate took care of Shannon, making sure the girl drank something during the day, even if she would only throw up the small sips a few moments later when Kate left to check on Aaron. Dishearteningly Aaron seemed to be coming down with what Shannon had contracted, he refused to eat anything in the last week and had lost a substantial amount of weight. When Kate held him in her arms and begged him to take a tiny sip of his bottle, she had to contain her emotions and prevent her from crying, knowing his tiny body would soon be lifeless.

"How's he doing?" Sawyer asked from the mouth of the tent, he plucked the cigarette he was smoking out of his mouth and threw it onto the sandy shore, "He eat anything?"

Kate shook her head with dismay, "Nothing. I can't get him to eat. I think he's too weak," she explained quietly as she turned back to the now sleeping three-month-old in her arms. His tiny thumb was stuck in his mouth, his cheeks expanded as he sucked.

Taking him very gently, she lay him back into the wooden crib Locke had fabricated for Claire, through now almost all of it was covered in soft cloth, Aaron, like Shannon, was beginning to bruise very easily.

"You sleepin' okay?" Sawyer questioned as he moved beside her, his blue eyes gave her a once over and he knew she wasn't, "You need your rest Freckles."

"I'll have more then I need soon enough," she informed as she glanced at the crib once again, "They're not going to last for much longer."

He brought his hand up and gently gripped her chin, turning her head to face him, "You been eatin'?"

"Yeah, today I had a guava," she confirmed as his hand slid away from her face.

"That it?" he asked with an arched eyebrow, disappointed by her answer.

"It's been a busy morning," she explained as she knocked the grains of sand plastered in the crevasses of her pants, "I haven't had a chance to get anything else."

"Come on," he told her as he grabbed her hand and lead her out of the tent, "Barbie's asleep and Junior's gonna be down for awhile. You can eat now."

He lead her over to where the food was kept in store, fish and boar meat wrapped up in the cooler, fruit strewn over a blanket, "Pick your weapon," he told her with a board smirk.

She smiled weakly and reached for a banana, "I haven't been having much morning sickness anymore," she spoke quickly before taking a bite of the fruit.

"And that's bad?" he queried as he walked to the cooler and returned with two bottles of water.

"Well at least it told me the baby was still alive," she whispered, "Something physical, you know?"

"And you think that it's not?" his voice was very calm, it hid his concern very well. He watched her reaction carefully, as she gingerly thought up the words to reply, not to evoke fear on his part.

"I'm sure it is, its just, I wish I had a sign it was okay," a sigh escaped her as she leaned back in the sand on her hands.

"You gained weight," he answered her out of the blue as he began to peel a banana.

"Excuse me?" she queried.

"Your belly," he told her as he took a bite, "Looks like you put on a few pounds. Wasn't gonna say anything, thought you'd murder me."

Glancing down she noticed maybe she'd put on a pound or two, "I suppose your right," she agreed hesitantly, then paused as a small smile graced her face, "So the baby's okay?"

"Of course it's okay," Sawyer assured, he raised his hand cautiously and placed it on her stomach. She flinched at his touch, but relaxed after a few seconds. He tried to imagine the life growing there, what it would look like, what it would sound like. If it would have Kate's beautiful eyes, and her gorgeous grin or Jack's serious stare and stupid lopsided smile. Part of him couldn't help but wish that it were his baby inside of her.

"It's got the best cushion in the world," he explained as he shuffled next to her, his large hand never leaving her stomach.

She smiled, but her heart wasn't in it. "Who's going to deliver it?" she questioned, her eyes large with surpressed fear as she gazed at him, hoping for a good answer.

"Well unless Barbie miraculously makes a come back, I guess it's just you and me," he informed as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

"What if something goes wrong," she closed her eyes, "I don't think I can do it."

"Then I guess it's just me," he offered with a chuckle, "Take it easy Freckles, you've got six months to waste, then you can start worrying."

"What if it just falls out while I'm walking," she asked suddenly, her question childish, but her voice terrified.

"And what if it's twins?" Sawyer questioned back jokingly, "Or really some half-alien hybrid?"

"Sawyer, so much could go wrong," she told him, turning in his arms to face him.

"Everything will be fine okay?" he spoke as he brushed a curl away from her face, "And if it does fall out, it's got a bungee cord don't it?"

"I'm not talking to you anymore," Kate told him as she pushed herself up.

"Who else you gonna talk to? Island population is four, unless you count the Crazies in the woods," he yelled back with a chuckle.

Kate rolled her eyes as she walked away from the tent. She supposed in the situation they were in, Sawyer's lack of professionalism and his humor was one of the only lifelines she had. He had taken care of her, when she was too busy caring for Shannon and Aaron to notice that she needed attention, which was probably the reason she wanted to kiss him, but she couldn't bring herself to do it, to many barriers stood in the way.

She shook her head; her dark curls swayed, there were more important things to do, then sit around and daydream about this island soap opera. She pulled back the flaps on the medical tent and entered it quietly, "Kate?"

"Yeah it's me Shannon," Kate told her as she bent down beside her. She definitely weighed less then one hundred pounds. The clothes she had brought in the plane now hung over her body like skin that sagged under her eyes.

"How are you doing?" she asked with a smile as her eyes fell on Kate's stomach.

Kate smiled weakly, tears perking her eyes, "I'm, I'm good," she explained rubbing her stomach lightly, "What about you?"

"I'm going to die," Shannon divulged with a roll of her eyes. Kate hated it when she did that, though it reminded her of the old Shannon, she did it so slowly that she looked dead.

"You know, in high school I was bulimic, I thought this was sexy," she exclaimed looking down at her stomach, "I thought guys would think it was sexy and the skinner I was, the more popular I'd be. Do you know what I'd give to be overweight and ugly right now?"

Kate's lips pursed together as she bit the inside of her mouth in an attempt to stop from crying, "I want to see Sayid's grave," Shannon declared.

Kate glanced at her watch, "We usually don't go for another three hours," she informed.

"I know," Shannon swallowed harshly, "But I'm not going to make it that long."

Kate bit the bottom of her lip and nodded her head, "Let me go get Sawyer," she offered as she sat up and walked across the sand to where she'd left him. Tears rolling down her cheeks, as she pulled the tarp back and walked in.

"Toldja I was the best entertainment 'round here," he told her smugly. He looked up at her and immediately knew something was wrong.

"Shannon want's to visit Sayid's grave now, says she's not going to make it another three hours," Kate disclosed sadly.

Sawyer nodded in understanding, "I'll go get some flowers," he informed as he moved past her and out into the jungle. He always collected a bouquet of flowers for Shannon to leave at Sayid's grave, whenever she felt well enough to go visit him.

He came back quickly, an eclectic variety of flowers in his clenched fist and together, silently, they ambled back into Shannon's tent. Kate held the flowers while Sawyer lifted her up carefully; a wrong hand grasp in one area could mean a big black and blue bruise.

The short walk to his grave was solemn and quiet, no one wanting to talk, never mind not knowing what to say. Shannon's head lolled against Sawyer's chest weakly, like a newborn baby, it was becoming too heavy for her to hold up.

Once they reached the site, Kate handed Shannon the flowers which she was barely able to grip between her bony fingers, and Sawyer bent down so she could drop the flowers before the makeshift cross made by sticks twined together.

She slowly brought her fingers to her lips and blew a kiss towards the grave. Sawyer took it as a sign to head back. He placed her on the cushions from the airplane seats where she spent twenty-three hours a day.

He left motioning for Kate to do the same, but she shook her head, "I'll be out in a few minutes," she informed, then looked back to Shannon.

"Thank you," she whispered weakly as her eyes closed. Her chest labored in and out and her raspy breaths could be heard clearly.

"For what?" Kate questioned as she wiped at her eyes, not wanting Shannon to see the tears she wanted to cry.

"You took care of me, I must've been a real burden, Boone always said I was," she informed, her voice scratchy and sounding like it was disappearing.

"You're not a burden Shannon," Kate informed with a smile, "You've helped me too, by not being that judgmental, you're a true friend," Kate explained, she waited for some smart-assed answer that she was sure she'd receive but only heard labored breaths.

She watched Shannon's chest rise and then fall. Kate sat for a few moments, waiting for it to rise, but it didn't, "Shannon?" she questioned as she leaned closer to the girl, "Shannon?"

No answer came from her motionless body, "Shannon!" she shouted as she shook her bony shoulders, "Shannon, don't die," she pleaded as tears rolled down her cheek an onto Shannon's pink top.

She heard movement behind her and felt Sawyer crouch down next to her. He carefully moved his fingers to Shannon's neck and then to her wrist. He sat back up and shook his head; "She's gone Freckles."

"No," Kate replied sternly, "She lasted this long, she was going to make it."

"Hell Freckles, you can see her heart, it's not movin' anymore, she's dead," he told her, "She was dying three months ago, you knew it before she did." Kate watched wordlessly as he moved past her and lifted Shannon's corpse out the tent.

* * *

They had buried her next to Sayid. Sawyer had at any rate, he refused to let Kate over exert herself and claimed that 'this was no work for a lady.' Afterwards they both stood stoically, staring at the grave, neither one enough of a Christian to recite any prayers.

A few moments of morbid silence passed when Kate turned her back, walking back to the dozens of empty tents and into the one that contained Aaron. He was still sleeping peacefully and Kate saw no reason to wake him, he wasn't going to eat anyways.

She shuffled silently back to her tent and let the flaps fall down for a moment of privacy. One of her hands snaked to her stomach as the other covered her face as she sobbed. She couldn't hide it, she couldn't help it. Shannon was dead; Aaron would be next, then her baby. The only way Danielle could stay alive on this island was to go insane.

"Kate?" Sawyer asked as he walked in and sat beside her, "Grieving ain't good when you do it alone," he informed.

"I don't want my baby to die, Sawyer," she disclosed. Her eyes were red from tears and sleepless nights, "I don't want to sit around and watch as it turns mad or starves to death."

"That ain't gonna happen Freckles, you know I won't let it," he told her as he took a seat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as she covered her face and continued to bawl.

"You can't control it Sawyer," Kate reminded, "its going to kill whoever it wants. The only thing we can do is hide like Rousseau did."

"You wanna hide?" Sawyer questioned with shock, "usually you wanna run."

"I'm not putting my baby in danger," she stated.

"We ain't hiddin'," he told her, "Whatever happens it's gonna happen anyways, might as well hit it head on."

"We don't stand a chance, we have no protection," she explained as she stood up, and frantically began collecting her things, "Against anything, The Others, boars, that thing from the jungle."

"I can protect us," Sawyer informed as he stood up and walked to behind Kate. He gripped her wrists gently, forcing her to drop what she was packing and turn around to face him, "I'll protect us."

The wind blew; rattling the tarp as it let in a faint glow from the moon. Kate shook her head, "I know you think you can Sawyer, but…"

Before she could finish he had pulled her to him, letting his lips press over hers. Caught in shock her lips pursed together, her mind knowing that she shouldn't kiss him, but it didn't stop her from enjoying when he kissed her.

Leaning in closer, he deepened the kiss, sliding his hand to the back of her neck, feeling the goose bumps that laced her skin. He'd always imagined what she would taste like, but always knew there was no chance when the good doctor was around.

His lips curled into a victorious grin as his tongue slid nonchalantly into her mouth. He could feel her tense, the grip Jack still had on her life and her actions still evident when it was obvious he was gone. He needed a response from her, anything, a tug on his shirt or a slap in the face, it didn't matter, he needed her to let go of Jack.

Slowly she unwound, moving her hands meticulously up his back, and running them through his soft hair. With a final remembrance of the past, she dived forward, kissing Sawyer back with all the emotion she had in her flowing through her body.

Her arms hooked around his neck as he buried his head in hers. The stubble that grew across his face scratched at her as he nipped gently at the delicate skin on her shoulder. Trailing his lips gingerly up her neck he took his time, wanting to savor every inch of her.

Kate's moves however had a sudden urgency to them. As Sawyer's lips locked with hers once again, she immediately deepened it, gripping his shirt and pulling him closer to her. One of her arms snaked around his neck once again as the other gripped the material on the bottom of his shirt, yanking at it mindlessly as her mollifying lips began to swell.

A chuckle rose in his throat as he broke the kiss and moved back an inch or so to remove his shirt. Her eyes watching him the entire time, scanning every inch of his body. After tossing the top to the side, he seized her lips again. There was pain, but it wasn't a deathly pain as it had been with Jack, more of a refreshing pain. Knowing Sawyer was here for her, it served as a reminder.

His hand crept down her back gradually until the material on her shirt had run out and he reached the cool, uncovered skin of her lower back. His long fingers caught the thin fabric of the bottom of her shirt and he began playing with it inattentively, a nonverbal suggestion on his behalf.

Taking the hint Kate raised her hand up to undo the bottoms on her top, but Sawyer stopped her. She sent him a quizzical glance, in which he replied with an inward smirk.

His mouth came down on her collarbone, his lips kissing, his tongue caressing the soft, fair skin until the shirt fabric became a nuisance. His nimble fingers undid her first button as his lips continued their progress downwards until meeting the material again. Repeating the action, a button was undone and his lips slipped over her skin until no buttons remained and the shirt was discarded on the floor.

As his hands wandered across her back, he commenced to lean Kate back, knowing if he was tired from the day's events she must be exhausted. Never caring for herself, she always put the others first. After her run in with Sayid and what had happened with Jack she needed to be appreciated.

The scruff on his chin brushed over her stomach as his mouth sucked on her skin. He tried not to think of the life growing there, or Jack's ravenous hands pillaging her beautiful body. His eyes wrenched shut as he came to her scars, after three months the wounds had healed, but the flesh had taken a morbid purple color.

The rousing tingle of her fingers on the back of his neck returned him to the present. Looking up he saw her staring at him, a seductive grin gracing her face, but her eyes held an emotion he couldn't identify, or couldn't be bothered to.

His lips traced an invisible path up her stomach and to the valley between her breasts, cut off by her bra. Her hand guided his face back to hers, and she fervently kissed him, barely noticing when his hands slid around her body, his fingers expertly undoing the clasp on her bra within seconds.

The cloth stuck to the perspiration on her skin, until he pulled the material down her arms and off her body. He stared at her for a few seconds, taking in the natural beauty she had been blessed with. He'd been with a lot of girls in his time, but never anyone like Kate, or under any circumstance like this.

He brought his hand up and skimmed the curvy line of her body upwards starting from her hips and stopping his hand came to rest atop her breast. His lips danced across the bare skin of her chest as her hands outlined the bunched muscles of his body.

He was surprisingly tender, the kiss she gave him for the phantom asthma inhalers mislead her, or maybe he was a different person back then. After being forced into taking the hero role when Jack went berserk. And now here he was, his lips tackling hers, one hand over her breast, as the other slid down the side of her pants, his fingers running smoothly underneath the side of her underwear. This was how she pictured it would've been with Jack.

"Sawyer," she moaned against his lips as her bare chest pressed against his, "I can't," her voice held sorrow and trembled as her lips made each syllable.

Surprisingly he pulled away from her, staring at her, her hair falling naturally over her shoulders, covering most of her chest, but her hands came up defensively covering her breasts. Tears formed in her eyes, as her pouted bottom lip quaked, "I just can't."

"Freckles, he's dead," Sawyer told her bluntly, trying to drown the anger he felt towards Jack inside of him, "He ain't coming back."

"I know," she nodded, he could see the welled tears in her eyes, he wanted to grab her and tell her not to cry. He hated it when she cried, she did it too damn often. In his opinion that stubborn Kate from before the disease was much preferred over the spineless person she'd become, "I just need time."

"You've had three goddamn months!" he yelled, finally succumbing to the rage, "You weren't even serious. You had all the time in the world before this damn plague to get it on with him and you didn't even bat an eyelash his way."

"You wouldn't understand," she told him angrily as she bent over to retrieve her bra.

"I've been pretty damn understanding so far," he growled as he heard the clasps on her bra click back together.

"Do you know what it's like to love someone and openly know that they love you back, but won't do a damn thing about it? The night in the caves, when he said he loved me, he meant it Sawyer, but I knew something was wrong, he was regretting not saying it sooner because he knew he wasn't going to be around for much longer. And now," she looked down at the exposed, scarred skin of her stomach, "Now all I'm left with is cargo."

"I know exactly how you feel," he said bitterly, and incensed disposition still visible on his face, "How do you think I felt every time I saw you with him?"

Kate looked down in shame, now not only did she feel like she'd used him, but she'd hurt him. She always knew that he had feelings for her, she just didn't know how serious they really were, and now she didn't know what to do about it.

A noise came from somewhere down on the beach, almost like a squeal, though it was gurgling, "Aaron," Kate whispered as she dashed out of the tent. Sawyer followed her, both were still scarcely dressed, but attire was not a top priority on either of their lists at the moment.

She stopped as soon as she entered the tent, it smelt horrible. She recognized it immediately and her heart froze, it smelt like the slaughterhouse on the farm she lived at as a child.

Sawyer stood behind her, she could feel the heat of his body against her back as he peered over her shoulder to gaze into Aaron's crib, "Jesus," he muttered as he pulled back.

Sometime during the time when Kate had checked up on Aaron last, and her fiasco with Sawyer, he had managed to spit up quite a bit. Though because his stomach was empty of food, he could not bring any up. Instead blood seemed to be the substance covering his lifeless body.

"Get out of here Freckles, I'll take care of this one," Sawyer told her as she gripped her shoulders gently. The smell was nauseating, rancid blood wafting through the night's cool airs.

"This is my fault Sawyer," she shook her head as she stared at the crib, flies were beginning to buzz around the corpse of young Aaron, "He depended on me to take care of him, and I didn't. The same thing with Shannon, I couldn't help them."

"You're not a damn miracle worker, Freckles," he stated with a disgusted sigh, "There was nothin' you could do for either o'them. You did what you could and made their last few days enjoyable, and I'm sure they'll never forget that."

"It wasn't good enough, I didn't try hard enough. I'm sure there must have been away to stop this, if I'd looked harder. There had to be a way I could've helped more," she answered quietly.

"You wanna help?" Sawyer questioned, "Go outside and go eat. Or go to sleep. You've got one person too look after now, and only you can. So give the runt what it wants," he told her as he pointed outside the tent.

Kate gave him a skeptical look, not wanting to believe that there was nothing more she could do, but also understood the point he was making. "Go on," he told her sternly, still pointing to outdoors, like he was yelling at a homeless mutt.

Her lips pursed into a frown as she turned and left the tent, halting just outside it for a moment, "Sawyer?" she questioned.

"I'll clean him up," Sawyer answered before she had a chance to ask, "I'll call you when he's buried.

Nodding solemnly, she dragged her feet though the sand to the surf. Standing idly, she feet the waves carry out the sand by her feet causing her to sink. With her hand on her stomach she felt a wave of hunger, followed by a wave of nausea course through her and for the first time, sinking wasn't as relaxing a she remembered.

_

* * *

There you have it. This chapter was seriously hell to write. Not only for the whole Sawyer/Kate thing, That I will never be behind ever! And refuse to write about ever again! But because I have a lot of friends dealing with eating disorders who are very close to me and have had to watch them go through hell. I (Like everyone probably) seriously contemplated it, but it's nothing to be taken lightly, there are more serious side effects then I listed. I suggest reading about it before starting what could end your life._

_I also apologize to those who know me for the hardcore Jack/Kate fan I am. I felt that the make out scene improved the story (you'll get it next chapter) and FYI, the original scene was rated more then M. I seriously went to far, so I edited the hell out of it. Original text was 6 ½ pages. The edited content is 2…_

**

* * *

FanOfLost**

_Guillotines was just an example portraying death. _

And I never said they wouldn't die…

**Whirlwind-2005  
**_I'd be worried if you didn't worry. Believe me when I say there is no happy ending for anyone._

**Lostobsessivefreak  
**_Blood to the max in next chapter, that's a promise.  
Second waterfall story sounds good _

**Orlando-Crazy  
**_Thank you _

**October Sky  
**_I. Hate. That. Show. Lol now I'm awaiting the hate mail. No I really honestly can't stand Jennifer Garner. I've seen the show once and I was doing sinusoids while watching it, so I really didn't get lots from it. _

**MistyX**

_I read up on some of my old smutty scenes between Jack and Kate and got very very drunk (just kidding) Actually I wrote this fairly late in the night, and tried to to get any images in my mind. I don't have time to read many fics these days, but I'll find the time to give it a look over (Though I prefer not to read Sawyer/Kate that much)_

**CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88  
**_BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA! I toned it down a hell of a lot. There was some crap in there that scarred me for life I swear. I forgot what I wrote (it was like at 6am) and when I woke up the next day and reread this I was like "OMG MAKE IT STOP!" so the 'love scenen" or whatever I called it is like 98.8 edited. _

_**Next chapter -**is the final chapter in this story. There is no possible way I can continue it afterwards. I'm not giving any more clues then I've already given, but I tell you there is no fairytale ending. (Unless you're Ethan, then you get to marry me)._

_Ethan: I never signed up for this  
Arzt: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!_


	8. The Sole Survivor

_Well you guys, it's over. It's been a fun ride filled with guts and abuse, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. **I have to warn that this chapter is the worse out of them all, it contains the whole shabang, adult situations, violent actions, swear words, everything, so don't read if you don't like!**_

The Sickness 

Chapter 8

The Sole Survivor

"Boys will be boys, will be boys, will be boys, will be boys, will be boys, will beat boys, with no  
warning.  
Girls will be girls, will beat guys, will beat boys, that don't cry over toys, that they use to beat  
girls they disguise, by the morning.  
they always said that sex would change you...

No second thoughts the knife is nearing,  
you'll never hear the little pitter patter, pitter patter,  
of this little feat of engineering!"  
- "Sex Changes" by The Dresden Dolls

"And I loved you unprotected,  
but you only love in,  
red!"  
– "Colorblind" by The Dresden Dolls

* * *

The cool breeze picked up off the waves as the sun slowly set, spreading an eclectic variety of colors across the sky, blurring them together to celebrate the ending of another day. The waves rolled in, hitting the shore harshly, then foamed before disappearing back into the ocean once again. A storm was coming, she knew, she could feel the air tensing, compacting together. It was going to be a big one.

She had been sitting in the same spot all day, so long that the sand had formed around her bottom so when she finally stood for bathroom breaks, that were coming more frequently now, there would be an imprint for her to return to.

The only thing she'd done all day long, was allow the ocean to lap at her feet, until the waves started growing in power when the temperature dropped. Sawyer wouldn't let her do anything else, and she had to commend him for it, he was true to his word, keeping an eye on her even when he was out tracking boar, or cutting firewood, or retrieving water from the depths of the jungle.

But having restricted perimeters of only the beach, life was becoming more then boring. He'd offered her any of the books he'd come across, but she was never much of a reader, unless she was reading directions.

So for most of the day she sat by the waves, staring into the horizon like she always had, the little blue line between the sky and the ocean never ceasing to entertain her, and she contemplated what she was going to do in the up coming months, until that even became a bore to her.

Her last resort was talking to herself, or rather the life growing inside of her. It had been six weeks since Shannon and Aaron had died, other then Sawyer there was no one else to talk to unless the voices she heard whispering in the jungle counted.

She sighed, as the dark plum color of night seemed to usurp the sky, shooing all the other colors until they retaliated at the sunrise. Glancing backwards, she scanned the jungle in the dying light, waiting impatiently for Sawyer to emerge, he'd been out all day hunting. She hadn't seen hide nor hair of him since yesterday night. If he didn't return soon, she'd have to light her own fire, which meant being chided upon his return; he'd told her that the smoke was bad for the baby.

The waterlogged book she'd taken from Sawyer's tent in a moment of excruciating boredom sat beside her, but night had claimed the sky and reading was now impossible and useless.

Moving her hand to her stomach swollen with the four and a half months she thought she was pregnant, she closed her eyes, knowing how foolish she must look, though no one was around but the prying eyes of the jungle.

"He's taking a long time today," she told her stomach as she gave it a small rub, "Maybe he finally outsmarted those boars," she suggested, then quickly came up with an alternative answer, "Either that or they've finally captured him. Which is probably the more plausible answer. He really doesn't know crap about hunting," she paused stretching out her back, "But he has a good heart."

She stopped talking, almost waiting for the baby to give a response, "He's falling out of routine, the one he says is the stability to surviving. I swear he'd schedule when I go to the bathroom if he could, he's going to get a mouth full when he gets back," she warned as her hand traced circles on her stomach.

"Jesus Freckles, can't you at least wait until the damn thing comes out before you start bad mouthing me?" he huffed as he limped weakly into the camp.

"Sawyer," she nearly shouted as she pushed herself quickly from her indented spot and rushed over to him, "What the hell happened to you?" she asked as she slipped his arm around her shoulders and began to hobble him towards the medical tent.

"The damn boars snuck up on me, that's what happened," he told her as she helped him to sit down on the beaten cushions.

She turned away to grab medical supplies and her surpressed laughter escaped in a tiny gasp, "It ain't funny Freckles," he explained, "I found one of those little bastards caught in the vines. I was gonna get him, but then," he sighed and pointed to her stomach as she knelt down before him, "I thought of the runt and I couldn't do it," he explained.

Her face grew into a smile at the thought of him thinking of the baby. She turned on the lantern that Sawyer warned her only to use of emergencies, he wanted there to be enough juice in it in case she delivered the baby at night. A bruise had formed over his left cheek and his lip had been split down the middle.

"So how'd you get the battle scars?" she asked as she reached for the peroxide and wetted a rag with it, "Fall down a hill on a good Samaritan run?" she added with a chuckle as she touched the rag to hip lip.

"Ah, Goddamn, would you stop it," he told her as he batted her caring hands away from him, "I was gonna say after I let the bastard out, his Momma came charging at me like a maniac. Tackled me down a damn hill."

Kate chuckled as she sat back, "Now why the hell is that funny?" he asked angrily.

"You got beaten up by a boar, again," she chuckled, "I told you I should do the hunting."

"Yeah Mighty Huntress of the Jungle and Baby Cheetah," he stated sarcastically, "You couldn't run if you wanted too, all you do is waddle," he reminded as he poked her stomach, "Too much weight on one side."

She grinned and grabbed his hand before he could poke her again, "At least the boars are on my side," she reminded with an arrogant tone.

"I wouldn't be surprised if you talk to the damn things," he repeated with a chuckle, as he leaned back and watched her roll her eyes as returned all the medical supplies to their rightful spots. "You talk to everything else, gonna start to call you Pocahontas if you don't stop."

A dry laugh escaped her mouth as she sat beside him, "You've been reading to many of those stupid books," she informed as he sat up meeting her eyes, "I don't get how you can…"

He leaned over quickly and captured her lips, kissing her gently for a second or two and pulled away. Her eyes were wide with bewilderment, and she looked at him for an explanation, "You talk to damn much," he told her with a smug beam.

Moving in closer with a smile pasted on her face, he wrapped his arms around her back as she slid onto his lap. Tilting her head up, she kissed him as his hands skimmed down her side and her arms hooked around his neck.

Slowly his hand floated over her hip and she let out a small giggle, he pulled his lips away from her and smiled mischievously, "You ticklish, Freckles?"

"Maybe," she replied with an innocent face as he bent down to kiss her again, but pulled away after a few seconds, "You eat yet?" he asked her suddenly.

"And this came up why?" she asked still looked up at him.

"Nope," he told her, shaking his head as he helped her sit up, "No fun until you eat darlin'," he informed as he stood up, "Gotta make sure Junior's happy before you get all giddy."

"I never thought this day would come," she rolled her eyes, "Sawyer's showing sexual restraint," she added as he offered her a hand to help her stand.

"Gotta take care of my baby," he clarified as he sent her a warm smile, one she hardly ever say grace his face. His words dancing in her heart.

"I think that boar knocked something loose in your head," she disclosed.

* * *

She yawned as the sun's rays hit the blue tarp used as a siding, causing the contents of the tent to take on a blue tinge. Her eyes slid indolently open as she slowly began to wake up. Sitting up, she pulled her head off of Sawyer's chest and shook it, the man could sleep through an atomic bomb being set off by a brigade of jackhammers.

Arching her back she stretched it out, sleeping was a task that had become more then uncomfortable in the last few weeks, every time she was so fatigued she needed to sleep, she couldn't find a good spot, except for last night. It was completely harmless, both nonverbally agreeing to take it slow, but still it didn't mean that it wasn't enjoyable.

She stood up and stretched her hands over her head, then brought one down and rested on her stomach, "We're very hungry today," she announced as she stepped out of the tent and into the sunlight.

It was a beautiful day and the impending storm seemed to have passed over the island quickly. It made her feel all that better and believe that maybe, they really could make it past everything negative about the island and start anew. She finally felt that she was over…

"Kate," a hoarse voice called her and her feet froze as if the sand had become super glue. She'd recognize it anywhere, and it wasn't Sawyer's.

She turned around slowly; her breath jagged and looked upon the man that called her. He stood about three yards away and looked nothing like she'd remembered him; his warm eyes were tarnished by scrapes and sleepless nights. His loving smile was covered in an unattended beard. His clothes were ripped and tattered, covering in dark brown bloodstains and some fresh bright red splotches.

"No," Kate shook her head, "Jack get out of here," she told him.

"Kate, you," he stared at her stomach, "Its…You've been busy."

She covered her stomach with her arms, "Yeah," she replied breathlessly as she watched him like a hawk, ready to react if he made any rash moves.

"Is it…" he stuttered nervously.

"Yeah, it's yours," she informed, not sure if it was the right thing to do, but he had a right to know, and maybe the thought of her carrying Sawyer's child would send him into a violent rage.

"From the caves?" he questioned gesturing in the general direction of the caves.

"Yeah," she answered quickly, maybe if she told him what he wanted to know, he'd leave quickly.

"I'm sorry," he apologized with a weak smile on his face as his eyes still stared at her stomach.

She nodded, "Jack, why are you here?" she asked with a tremble to her words, almost afraid to hear the answer.

"You've got to kill me," he told her, bluntly as he took a step forward. She immediately took a step back to compensate.

"What?" she shouted, hoping to wake Sawyer,. But had no such luck, "I can't," she shook her head. Seeing him again, all the old emotions were flooding back through her, the joy she had once of being recognized by him, and cared for, and worried about, "I still love you," she whispered into the wind.

"I love you too," he informed taking a step forward, she didn't move back, but she still kept a close eye on him. "Which is why you have to do this," he told her, "If you don't I'm going to come back here and do something horrible, I can feel it Kate."

"But you haven't in a while," she replied not comforting either of them.

"Kate, this blood is Locke's," he told her, "I killed him, I stabbed him, I beat him, I laughed while I did it. Please, you've got to," he told her hurriedly as he pulled out a gun, "I don't want to hurt anyone else."

"I can't!" she told him still refusing even consider the thought. She'd killed the man she loved before; she'd never do it again.

"Why are you making this harder then it has to be?" he growled angrily. Kate instantly took a step back, "Just take the fucking gun and do it already!" He yelled waving the gun around like a maniac.

"Jack, stop!" she yelled as her arms wrapped tighter around her body, "just go away, if Sawyer finds you…"

"What?" he questioned. His voice was calm, but too calm, it sent chills up Kate's spine, "So that's it huh? You just go around fucking every guy on the island? Is that it Kate?" he questioned as he stalked towards her, so angry his feet seemed to sizzle in the sand, like the butts of Sawyer's cigarettes as he snuffed them out.

"Sawyer!" she yelled as she attempted to run, but he'd been right, she couldn't outrun a snail, never the less Jack, the disease acting almost like a steroid.

He jumped forward, tackling to the ground. She landed hard on her stomach, the impact knocking the air out of her. In the few moments it took her to catch her breath, he was already up, "You stupid," he kicked her hard, his boot coming in contact with her chest, "Lying," he kicked her again, his blows growing harder, she removed her hands from her head and placed them around her stomach. "Loose," Again. This one landing on her ribs, breaking two upon impact, "Bitch!" His rage hit an extreme as he hit her hard, directly in the stomach.

"Jack," she gasped painfully, "Stop," she pleaded, her body bruised and bleeding, "Don't hurt the baby."

He stood idle for a second, his eye twitched, "Kate," he told her, his hands shaking, tears streaming down his face, "Kill me, for Godsake, kill me!" he yelled to her.

She stared at him, her body weak, "Sawyer," she mumbled, in an attempt to wake him.

With that one word, Jack turned back into the monster he'd become. "I'll kill you," he roared as his jaw set angrily, he grabbed the gun from the waistband of his jeans and hit her across the face with it. She could barely feel it, her eyes rolled back in her head as it hit the ground, "Don't hurt the baby Jack," she begged.

"I'm not having Sawyer raise my fucking kid!" he yelled as he threw the gun to the ground and kicked her in the stomach repeatedly, his blows landing in the exact same spot, his knowledge as a doctor knowing where to kick.

Kate cried as she tried her best to protect her unborn child, but the first kick broke her hand, and after three more her body had gone limp as consciousness faded away from her. There was so much blood around her, she couldn't even tell where it was coming from anymore.

"You son of a bitch!" Sawyer yelled as he barreled towards Jack, knocking him down and away from Kate, and into the pool of her blood. "I'll kill you!" he yelled as he punched Jack in the face.

Jack kicked Sawyer off of him and threw his fist threw the air. It came in hard contact with sawyer's jaw and a groan of pain escaped his mouth as he fell back. Jack saw the advantage and began to beat Sawyer harder then he had with Kate, not holding back his rage towards the man.

Kate's eyes opened painfully, her dry lips pursed together as she tried to blink away the pain, but it didn't work. She turned her head slowly to her left and saw only the sand, stained red from all the blood that had left her body. It was moist and stuck to her skin and her clothes as she pushed herself up, holding her head and steadying herself before looking over to the scuffle.

Her entire body ached; breathing was hard, almost uncontrollable. She placed a hand on her stomach cautiously, but winced and withdrew, it hurt to touch and she could begin to feel her insides cramping.

"Jack leave him alone!" She yelled as she looked up, tears in her eyes. If she didn't stop him, he would surely beat Sawyer to death; he could barely retaliate as it was.

He looked back at her, his eyes crazed and filled with hatred and with a violent shove, pushed himself away from Sawyer and began stalking over to her. Apparently furious he hadn't finished the job.

She quickly realized that she was weaker then Sawyer and had no way of defending herself against Jack, until something glimmering in the sand caught her eye. The gun Jack had dropped sat glistening. Being buried by the strong storm winds that were blowing in once again.

She reached for it speedily and aimed it at Jack, her hand twitched and the gun shook; she couldn't hold it even, her nerves and pain tainting her with failure. It was hard firing a gun with only one hand. She couldn't do it, no matter how much of a monster he was; she couldn't force herself to shoot him. And as he stalked closer she realized she was going to die.

Another agonizing cramp ripped through her, and she understood what had happened. Her eyebrows furrowed and her teeth clenched, she was becoming angry, she knew what he had done. She could take being beaten, or killed, but when an innocent child, their innocent child fell victim, she wouldn't stand by and take it lightly.

Her fingers squeezed around the trigger and within a few seconds, a brigade of bullets fired through the air. The glass shattering sound echoing through the solitary island, drowning out the dull sound of the waves. All six bullets fired found their way into Jack at one mark or another, sending his body crumpling to the ground with crimson blood trickling out of the wounds.

Her hands shook, "No," she muttered, panic stricken by her actions, she'd done it again, just like with Thomas, though this time it'd been intentional. She looked into his hazel eyes, watched as the bullets shot through him; she felt relief when he hit the sand.

Without contemplation she raised the barrel of the gun to her head, and took a deep inhalation.

"Kate, don't!" Sawyer called out from where he had regained himself. He looked almost as bad as she did, his face and arms bruised, blood leaking out of him at some parts.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry Sawyer," she told him and moved to pull the trigger.

He took off from the sand and tackled her backwards into the puddle of her own blood. The gun went off, but the bullet hit nothing but air as it flew up into the sky. Moving off of her, seeing her still breathing he felt great relief. Then he remembered what she was trying to do, and almost had to sit on his hands to prevent him from doing something awful, "The hell are you doing?" he asked her as he pulled her up. She flopped back weakly, her body like a ragdoll.

"I don't want to be here anymore, Sawyer!" she yelled angrily as her good hand moved up and brushed her tears away, spreading blood across her cheeks while doing so

"Think about the baby, Freckles," he told her as his hand came up to her cheek trying to calm her.

"There is no more baby," she sobbed as she fell onto him. He looked at her for a moment, terrified and confused, "Jack kicked it out of me," she whispered.

"Kate," he whispered gently, tears stinging his own eyes are he smoothed her hair back. He tried to continue but realized he had nothing to say.

"Whatever's left of it is in the sand, or will be soon enough," she added, a disgusted tone hidden in her words. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his chest as she sobbed.

He did all he could, sliding his arms around her waist tenderly; he lay his head against her shoulder and began to cry as well.

* * *

Sawyer let out a sigh as he began digging a hole, using shovels that had been a breakpoint in the engineering on the island. He remembered when Michael had finished building one, calling it a prototype, people had actually cheered, elated to have some kind of object that could remind them of home.

He shook his head, his jaw set in anger, Mike probably didn't know how well he'd built it. Sawyer had used it so often that he could actually tell where he always gripped it, the wood was beginning to wear.

He stopped digging for a moment and used the back of his hand to wipe the sweat from his forehead. He hated doing this, he didn't know what he'd give to have Jack come waltzing through the patches of trees and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing. Or to hear that damn dog bark up a storm while Shannon screamed at it to shut the hell up. Or to tell Kate that the way her lowriders clung to her body, he could see more then he dreamed of, waiting for her to roll off his comment.

But none of that was going to happen, Jack had been shot so many times by Kate, he swore a damn firing squad was behind her for a moment. He's buried him min the jungle with the rest of the crew, leaving only the solitary graves of Shannon and Sayid on the beach, feeling it was a nice gesture to let their bodies rest together in private forever.

The grave he dug now was finished, he didn't need to double-check it, he knew that it would be the right size. He huffed angrily as he sent a sideways glance at the corpse he was burying, she still looked alive, like she was sleeping peacefully or something. He wanted to wait at least an hour before burying her, thinking that her body was going to come back to life, but he had to get rid of it.

Every time he looked into Kate's empty green-gray eyes, his heart broke and he wanted to cry. A few days after she shot Jack, she was plagued with a never-ending guilt, guilt for killing Jack, for loosing the baby, for failing.

After her miscarriage was complete, the undeveloped fetus was buried. She refused to attend the burial, Sawyer had to drag her up there himself, carrying her most of the way. He knew she needed to say goodbye, but he also feared of her finding the gun he'd hid so well and taking her own life. Which was what ended up happening anyways.

He'd stayed up three days in a row, watching her while she slept, not grabbing a wink himself, knowing that as soon as he did, she'd be up and out of the tent, looking for a way to end it. But on the forth day, his body got the best of him and he woke up just in time to see her blow her brains all over the sand.

Placing her limp body in the grave, he made sure her eyes were closed. His fingers twitched remembering the way she stared at nothing when he ran over to her, the silent drip of blood falling into the sand seemed to boom.

Closing his eyes he began to cover her, pushing the dirt to cover her body. He couldn't watch, he'd be sick, knowing that her beautiful face was going to remain six feet under for the rest of eternity.

He patted the dirt down, making sure it was even and shoved one of the rocks in as a tombstone. Crosses had long since been dismissed for that purpose since there was know way of knowing who was buried where.

He had scratched her name in previously and added 'Freckles' to the bottom. Making sure she was placed between Jack and her baby.

As a final touch he placed on white flower on top of her grace and stared at it as he waited for his tears to stop. But they wouldn't, and they hadn't since he'd found her fifteen minutes ago. He tried to suck it up, be a man, but not when he knew she was dead. He'd never hear her voice, touch her skin, or kiss her lips ever again.

"You are the last one then?" a voice asked from behind him. His tears seemed to dry instantly as he turned around to see Danielle watching him from the path that lead to the beach.

"Guess it's just you and me Frenchie," he said sarcastically as he threw the shovel to the side.

"It was best the child was killed before birth," she informed bluntly.

Sawyer's head shot up and his face almost turned red, "What the hell you say?" he growled, almost daring her to repeat her words.

"The others were going to come, to take the child as soon as it was born, they always do with girls," she announced. Before Sawyer could even ask she added, "They can always tell, which is why Claire was released."

"Whatever," Sawyer mumbled as he walked past her and back to the beach, trying to keep the tears out of his eyes as he thought of himself, Kate and the little girl who called him "Daddy."

"You should make a shelter in the jungle, underground. It's safer, and easier to attain the things necessary for survival," she disclosed as she followed him, a few feet behind him.

"So I make a shelter next to yours and we become neighbors, big whop, what are we going to do then?" he questioned, not fond with the idea of hanging out with a French lady who'd been alone for sixteen years.

"We wait for it to happen again," she announced pointing to the sky. The drone of a plane barely keeping airborne could be heard off in the distance, over the low roar of thunder. The storm Kate had predicted had finally come.

_

* * *

And there you go. Dark but not nearly as dark as my "Stand" fic, that sadly will never be released (In fear of being stoned and then captured by a mob of villagers with torches and locked away in an asylum)._

**Whirlwind-2005  
**_Nah I had this ending in mind since before I even wrote the story. I just thought, what would I never do in a million years? And then I did it. _

I had an alternate ending, where Kate does have the baby and then Sawyer dies a few months later and she dies because the others want her and her baby goes to Danielle, but I scraped it because I liked this one a whole lot more.

**October Sky  
**_Sorry but all great things must come to an end. Sad I know, but now the next project can be worked on!  
_  
**CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88  
**_NOOOOOOO, I wanted some hatemail! Tear! Anyways don't fall back into that Sawyer/Kate thing or I'll hurt you I will. Well no I won't but I'll never ever ever ever ever write another story if you do! So there! PS Everyone seems to like Detour, better tell me what I've gotta write about (BE A DISCO! I WANNA WRITE ABOUT A DISCO!) _

**Orlando-Crazy  
**_Thank you _

**Lostobsessivefreak  
**_Hope you enjoyed the ending and my overuse of the word 'blood', and thanks for the nice comments! _

**FanOfLost  
**_First of, you can't hate me, I hate you! (Totally kidding of course)  
Next thing is you can't hate this story because this story hates you (hence the Sawyer/Kate ness (Hate the term Skater)  
Lastly, It was so damn hard for me to write that I was like sick for 3 days. I was in such a bad mood that To'ed my mom because she never knew what was wrong.  
And I felt that Sawyer spending an eternity on and island alone with Frenchie De La Crazie would be worse then dying. Quel est ton damage (totally screwed that up but I don't have french for awhile so there!)**

* * *

Next Story- Is fluffy like no other with a bit of angst, the kind you all like (Save for Manda who is like me and would rather have a bloodbath) but I'm tres excited (notice the interlanguage wording) about writing it. So excited. And hopefully it'll be up soon (Totally Jack and Kate pair) and if you love 'Another', you'll love this!  
**__  
_

Is fluffy like no other with a bit of angst, the kind you all like (Save for Manda who is like me and would rather have a bloodbath) but I'm tres excited (notice the interlanguage wording) about writing it. So excited. And hopefully it'll be up soon (Totally Jack and Kate pair) and if you love 'Another', you'll love this! 


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